Thankful on Thanksgiving 2016

  

  As I sit here celebrating Thanksgiving  with my family, I think of the numerous things I have to be thankful for this year.  It wasn't that long ago, however, that I vividly remember a Thanksgiving when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for.  At that time in my life I had just found out that my previous marriage of 25 years was over and the rejection that came with that realization was overwhelming.  Additionally, my finances were a shamble and I was forced into moving in with my mom as I had nowhere else to go.  Our family business (Havilah's Boutique) was on the verge of bankruptcy, our beautiful home in Fishers was in the process of foreclosure and I seemed to be surrounded by nothing but loss.  My time was divided between attempting to negotiate with debt collectors, working three jobs, and mourning the loss of my family.   I felt like a complete failure in life and I had very little hope that things would get better.  Honestly, If there was ever a time in my life that I wanted to just give up on life—it was then. 
    That thanksgiving I made a conscious decision, however, to be thankful despite all the trauma around me.  I started listing off all the things that I could be thankful for.  At that time my list was pretty short:  I was thankful that I had all my teeth, I was thankful that I did a great Sylvester Stallone imitation, that I had a functional vehicle (my high mileage 1998 Dodge Grand caravan that burned oil and smoked heavily when it was running).    One thing on my list that stood out however was I was thankful that God was good and I knew that my heavenly father loved me.  Although I didn’t feel very loved at that time, and I didn't see much evidence of that fact, nevertheless I held on to that hope.  I really was thankful that God loved me and I decided to intentionally place my trust in him because I had no one else to turn to.  

    It’s four years later now and life is so much different.  I feel like God has restored everything I lost plus even more.  I now have a wonderful/loving wife (Heather) whom I adore and who makes life fun.  She's beautiful both inside and out and challenges me in my relationship with God, daily.  I'm so thankful for Heather and so glad for the great relationship she has with all my kids.  She is such a great partner on this journey.  I'm thankful that my children are all doing wonderfully and I’m so proud of them all.  I'm thankful that my oldest son, Izzy, just announced his engagement to his lovely fiancée (Kellie) whom I’m honored to have as my future daughter in law.  I'm thankful for my two step sons, Ryan and Lucas.  They are both awesome kids whom I now have the privilege of helping mentor and develop into the men that God has called them to be.  I'm thankful for the Ferguson clan (The family I married into.)  My father and mother in law are both former missionaries who made me immediately feel like part of their family.  Claude (my father in law) is a former Marine with a great sense of humor and in a relatively short time we’ve become great friends.  His wife, Jan, is one of the sweetest Christian women I've ever met and she has this gift for making everyone feel welcome.  I'm thankful for Heather's siblings.  The first time we all got together I just felt like we fit together so well and I’m so grateful for all of the cool brother and sister's in law and awesome nieces and nephews that I now have in my extended family.  Even financially it seems like I’ve experienced complete restoration.  Both of our businesses (Soundsational and my job as a real estate broker for FC Tucker) have been doing exceptionally well and I’m thankful for the abundant blessings I see all around me.  Most importantly however I’m thankful that I know in the deepest part of my heart that God is good,  he loves us profoundly, and he is always with us despite whatever life circumstances we might face.  Feeling exceedingly grateful this thanksgiving season.     

(Psalm 28:6-7)  “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” 

(Psalm 30:1-12)  “I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. . . . You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” 

God is faithful.

I have been through almost overwhelming hardship and I've been through periods of tremendous blessing.  I can tell you that the good times were always more fun.  Regardless of what was going on however, God was always faithful to me despite any outside circumstances.  My thought for the day.

thought for the day.

It is a false gospel when people see suffering as evidence of the displeasure of God.  We live in a fallen world full of broken people, and hardship and suffering happens.  Often times it seems like life is falling apart all around us and it's easy to lose hope.  I have learned however that our heavenly father sees our pain, he loves us, and he is always able to bring good from the most painful situation if we simply trust in him.  My thought for tonight. 

Grateful!

Sitting at vineyard (church) today with my beautiful wife and two stepsons while watching my oldest son lead worship. The thought occurred to me while I was worshipping--that our Heavenly Father is amazing!! How incredible is God that he can take our brokenness and pain and bring about such beauty and joy. I'm so grateful that I serve a God who's heart is "to comfort those who mourn and provide for those who grieve." Feeling very grateful.

Believing without seeing

At different points in my life I’ve been in situations where I encountered things that (at the time) felt completely overwhelming.  Looking back it seems like those situations helped me to begin to comprehend the faithfulness of God.  Many times in the past--people, looking at me from the outside, would assume I had everything together.   Although I legitimately loved God and trusted he would arise and help other people—subconsciously I always expected him to reject or abandon me in the hard times.  Crisis often shook me to the core because it revealed the doubt, pride, lack of faith and fear of rejection that was always there lurking beneath the surface.  When I would encounter hardship I used to panic and spend copious amounts of time in prayer.  I almost felt like if I prayed “hard enough” God might hear me and help.  I was living my spiritual life like a peasant begging for God's notice--unaware that I was one of his beloved children and already had his full attention.  Once my prayers were answered, I would relax again and feel peaceful.  That wasn't because of any legitimate trust in God however, but simply because my circumstances changed.  But is God only good when he gives us things?  Is he only faithful when he answers our prayers the way we want him to?  A few years ago that pattern changed. God was faithful enough to allow the circumstances to come about so that he could address the fear, pain, brokenness and pride that was buried deep in my heart.   At the time God definitely didn’t seem to answer my prayers and my circumstances were unbearable.  In that dark place, however, is where he spoke to my heart and I finally began to understand his profound love for me.  It took losing everything (or so I thought) for me to finally understand in the deepest places-- my heavenly fathers enormous love for me.  You see, once you can praise and trust God even when things are falling apart--then you can be certain you have a firm faith.  Otherwise, your hope is always at the mercy of your circumstances.  A.W. Tozer once said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”

John 20:29 - "Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Learning to trust

As I've grown older Ive just started to learn to trust God in the really hard places. For it's in those places where our faith is really tested and refined. As I look back-- the times when I felt the most lonely, rejected, fearful and abandoned are the times when God made himself known to me in the most tangible ways. During the periods in my life where things just weren't going according to "my plans", I discovered that despite my fears God had much better plans for me. If you are going through hard times right now, call out to your heavenly father. He loves you and wants to make his presence known in your life. - Brian

Walking in Authenticity

What the world needs is authentic Christians that walk in a humble, transparent dependence on God. In the past i have had well intentioned Christians try to tell me that we need to only verbalize our victories and  not speak about our failures and pain.  I have been told that we need to "positively confess" what we want to see going on in our lives--and not the reality (if that reality is painful).  I understand the belief in positive confession but anyone reading the Psalms can see the struggles, doubts, sadness and questioning that David went through in walking out his relationship with God.  Yet, in the midst of hardship and grief he didn't pretend that everything was OK.  Instead he verbalized his trust in God despite his circumstances. How can those around us going through hardship feel like they can even relate to Christians (and subsequently Christianity) when every Christian they meet is working so hard to keep the mask on? Personally I've been through joyful times but I've also been through suffering and pain in life. Throughout everything though my loving Heavenly Father held me securely in the palm of his hand. We need more believers to be bold enough when facing hardship to say "my life is a mess, I'm broken and grieving--yet despite what I see, I chose to trust God knowing that he loves me and is faithful."  Being a Christian doesn't mean that we will never face trauma or pain. It simply means that we have hope in the fact that God loves us, He will never leave us, and He will bring blessing out of the adversity.  If we aren't transparent with our struggles--we will never be relatable to a lost and hurting world

Loving our neighbors

It's amazing how people try to justify all kinds of evil behavior. Especially in a divorce--people will justify saying and doing really unkind things without thinking twice.  It's a shame but it seems like concepts such as character, commitment, purity and kindness are even missing in much of the church today.  Often we get so sidetracked on political or doctrinal issues that we forget the simple message that Jesus preached. The message that we should "love the Lord our God with all our hearts, mind, soul and strength-and we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves."   Jesus is coming back for a bride that is spotless and pure. As Christ followers we need to start walking out who God created us to be. Not out of a fear of judgement--but out of a lovesick desire to live our lives to honor our Lord.

Ephesians 5:27 ESV

"So that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."

A crown of beauty instead of ashes

Over the last 2 years I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life.  Much of it, I didn’t desire at the time.  When I was served with divorce papers after being married for 25 years—I initially felt like a 2,000 lb boulder just landed on my chest.  When the additional realization hit that I was also facing the failure of our family business (Havilah’s Boutique) and the loss of my home and financial security I felt like my life was over.  It felt like my best days were long behind me.  The combination of shock, sadness and rejection was overwhelming.  Yet, I made the conscious decision to trust in Gods’ goodness.  Although I didn’t understand the hardship around me—I did understand and believe that God loved me and held me safely in the palm of his hand.  Sometimes when it appears like you’ve lost everything—you discover that Christ is all you need.  Over the last 2 years I’ve seen God’s hand at work in my life in so many ways.  I’ve seen him faithfully working in my children’s lives as they’ve walked through this hard season as well.  I’ve seen my relationship with my children grow stronger than it’s ever been.  I’ve seen Gods provision in allowing me to purchase a new car (as my older car was breaking down) and move into a home even though my credit was damaged severely.  Last year I saw God bring a beautiful woman and her 2 sons into my life.  The more we got to know each other it became apparent we both seemed to be on the same frequency --as she had also learned to depend on God as she went through her own journey through loss and pain.  She (Heather) had also lost her spouse, although not through divorce but through a fatal traffic accident.  As many of you know, Heather and I got engaged a few weeks back.  I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with this lovely woman and her amazing sons.  I dearly love them and I fully believe God has brought us together.  Now, instead of feeling my best days are behind me--instead I’m looking forward to the all the neat adventures that God has in store for us in the future.  If you are currently going through hardship and trauma—pour out your grief before God.  He loves you and wants to take the hardship and pain in your life and create something beautiful out of it.  In the book of Isaiah it says that it’s God’s desire to comfort those of us that mourn and to bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.  Im so grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers, comforts us in our pain and dearly loves his children.     

 

Isaiah 61:1-3

 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

Learning to look and listen.

With marriages it’s so important to communicate with your spouse.  Communication includes both speaking and listening.  Isn’t it interesting however that when it pertains to our relationship with God that communication is often 1 way.  We cry out to God when we are hurting or in need—but how often do we truly listen for his voice?  How often do we intently search to hear and see God communicating with us?  What if God desired to speak to us every day but we simply weren’t hearing him because we weren’t listening?  What if God was speaking to us through our dreams and our imagination yet we never realized it as we mistakenly assume that these things were all coming from within us.  What if he is conversing to us through the unusual coincidences in our lives—yet we analytically brush them off?  In 1 Kings 19:11-13, it states The Lord said (to Elijah), “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. ‘Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  And after the fire came a gentle whisper.   When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.  Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  It’s interesting that God was not speaking to Elijah through a loud booming voice that came to him amidst the tornado, earthquake or the fire.  He instead spoke to the prophet through a gentle whisper.  This whisper was also referred to as a “still, small voice”.  It was such a slight whisper that it almost might not been noticed if Elijah wasn’t intently listening for Gods’ voice.  What if part of our mission as Christ followers is to scrutinize the scripture to learn about God and his character so that when we hear that gentle whisper from God we can identify it as coming from our beloved heavenly father?  What if another part of our mission is to learn how to see and hear God’s voice and prompting in our lives?  To learn to listen intently so that when he speaks we hear him.  Jesus said in John 10:27, that “My sheep listen to my voice, I know them and they follow me.”  Most of us need to start talking less and listening (and looking) more when communicating with God.  Jesus said his sheep listen to his voice.  Well, fellow sheep, we better start listening.        

 

Proverbs 25:2 - It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

John 10:1-5  “Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

Valentine's Day post 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my Facebook friends. I must admit that this is my most un-favorite holiday. This was one celebration that I always used to hate as a kid. I remember the anxiety as an elementary school kid worrying about whether I would receive any valentines from classmates. It was almost like the stress of being one of the last kids picked for the dodge ball team during gym class. In Junior High that feeling of dread was even worse as the school I attended sold carnations that you could have delivered to your "special valentine". I remember more than a few times being one of the guys in class that was "carnation-less" while other classmates walked around the school carrying large bouquets sent by their many ardent admirers. I always hated that feeling of being forgotten on Valentine’s Day. I hadn't felt that feeling for many years up until last Valentine’s Day. That was the first holiday after the finalization of my divorce and I again felt that pang of "alone-ness" that day. When I initially received my final divorce decree I was feeling pretty alone and rejected. After 25 years of marriage I never expected or desired to be single again. At that point, out of necessity, I had moved in with my mother, and that Valentine’s Day I was feeling every bit of a failure. My plans that evening were to simply hang out at my mom's house and watch TV. That afternoon however, I got an invitation from a family friend to join her for a dinner party at her house. She had invited a few of her friends from church over for a Valentines dinner and asked me to join them. It's amazing how much it impacted me that day just knowing that I wasn't forgotten about and somebody actually remembered me. One of the things that hit me as I was writing this post was the fact that not only does our heavenly father never forget us--but also the thought that he sent us all the ultimate valentine when Jesus was born. God sent his son so that we can have a heartfelt relationship with him. God knows you and your circumstances and it's his biggest heart’s desire for you to really understand his tremendous love for you. Whether you have experienced the death of a spouse or loved one, the death of a marriage (divorce) or are simply feeling alone--God wants to meet you in that wounded place and bring you comfort. When I was at the lowest point in my life--I called out for God's comfort and he met me in that place. He overwhelmed me with his love and affection. He showed me in so many ways that he was with me and that he cared. If you’re going through hard times right now and have stumbled across this post--it was not by accident. God wants you to know that he loves you deeply and desires to hear from you. He sees you when you are disheartened and his heart is heavy when you cry. God is aware of your circumstances and will work everything out for your best when you turn to him. Although things might seem dark and hopeless at present--your heavenly father desires to bring joy back into your life. When we turn to him he can "bring beauty from ashes" and redeem even the most painful trauma in our lives. Just remember that our heavenly father is someone who never forgets us on Valentine’s Day.

  1 John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters."

 1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

 John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

 Isaiah 61 "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Experiencing Hardship

Hardship and adversity give us a great opportunity to see Gods hand at work in our lives.  Most of the time however we strive for comfort with everything in us.  When hardship hits my first response always used to be to pray that God would deliver me from the trauma (regardless of what is was). It is in that place of complete helplessness and dependence however that I learned to experience God in a deeper way than I ever had before.  The next time you encounter intense adversity try a different method of praying.  Instead of praying for God to rescue you from your hardship--pray that he both uses the situation to mold you into the person he wants you to be, as well as uses it to make himself known to you in a deeper and more intimate way.

New Years Eve Facebook Post

Happy New Year's to all my Facebook friends. When I look back over all the transition I've gone through over the past year I'm so grateful for where I'm currently at. Last year on New Year's Eve it was hard for me to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Everything around me seemed dark and cold. when I tried to project myself into the future all I could see was more loss and pain. God was faithful to meet me in that place however. He showed himself so faithful to me and let me know in so many ways that he "saw me" and that he held me securely in his loving arms.  Now, a year later--as I look at where I'm at currently I'm so grateful. God has brought old friends back into my life and some wonderful new ones as well. He has started the restoration process in my life. I have a new home and I'm so excited about all the new adventures that God has for me in the future. I'm so glad that I serve a God that has compassion on his children when they're hurting and always hears their prayers. I'm also thankful that I go to a wonderful church with an awesome pastoral staff. Lastly I'm thankful for my family and that God has blessed me with an amazing mother, sister and some absolutely wonderful kids--all of whom I'm very proud of and love dearly. 

 

 

Psalms 23:4 "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

Brian's thought for the day

Who do you choose to put your trust in when things are hard and when nothing seems to make sense? Who do you lean into when facing loss or hardship? When it seems like everything in your life has been uprooted their is still somebody that you can depend on. Your heavenly father loves you and wants you to rest in him even when the storms of life seem out of control. The more you seek him the more clearly you will be able to see his heart for you. The more you look to him--the more you will be able to be at peace even when circumstances seem overwhelming.  - Brian


"Come to me, all you were weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28–30

Living in the matrix

Just yesterday I watched one of my favorite science fiction movies--“Matrix”.  In that movie the main character, a software engineer Thomas (Neo) Anderson, receives a cryptic message on his computer instructing him to “follow the white rabbit”.  This contact begins a series of events which culminates in a meeting with an individual named Morpheus.  During his meeting with Morpheus, Neo is asked if he wants to know what the matrix is.  He is then told that “It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you to the truth”.  Morpheus then gives him two pills.  Neo is informed that if he takes the blue pill, he “will forget everything that transpired and go back to life as normal.  However, if he takes the red pill, “you stay in wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”  After choosing to take the red pill, Neo finds out that there is a war that has been going on for thousands of years that he was completely unaware of.  He learns that his world is actually a wasteland devastated by an ancient war between humanity and machines.  The truth of that reality however had been concealed behind an elaborate façade created by malevolent cyber intelligence. 

    Have you ever felt like you might be living in a matrix?  That there is a reality behind the scenes that is far different than what you are currently experiencing?  I came to that realization myself just 18 months ago.  My “red pill” was going through the trauma of seeing the unwanted dissolution of my 25 year marriage combined with losing my home, my family’s business (Havilah’s Boutique) and my financial security.  Being in that place of desperation however often enables a person to see clearly what God is doing in and around them.  In my case that hardship caused me to fervently seek God in a way I never had before.  I discovered, just like Neo, there is a battle going on all around me that I had been unaware of.  We are in a battle that began long before we were born with an adversary much more sinister than the machines from the matrix.  This battle however is a spiritual one and our enemy and his forces are ever present whether we choose to acknowledge them or not.  I also became aware that my view of God’s desire to interact with me was flawed.  Our heavenly father isn’t satisfied only being involved with us on Sunday from 0930 to 1100 and he also isn’t a powerless deity content to sit on the sidelines.  If you are Christ follower going through hardship and what you are facing seems overwhelming, keep in mind that we serve a God, so powerful, that He created everything with just a spoken word.  We serve a God that isn’t bound by any law of science and can intervene in the natural world at will.  Our God can stop the rotation of the earth, part the seas, and even has dominion over life and death.  And that omniscient and omnipotent creator loves us profoundly and wants to partner with us in bringing his kingdom to earth.  We live in a magical world concealed behind a mask of normalcy to blind us from the truth.  To break out of it however all we need to do is know our true identity as princes and princesses in the kingdom, Know who our father is and have eyes to see what our father is doing.  So are you ready to take the red pill?

  

Ephesians 6:11-12  - “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Romans 8:38-39, " For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Psalm 91:1-16, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day. 

Being the hands and feet of Jesus.

    The other night I was watching the DVD collection of the old TV series “Highway to Heaven” starring Michael Landon.  I love that show!  The show (for those who haven’t seen it) was about an angel named Jonathan Smith (Landon) and his best friend/sidekick Mark Gordon.  In the show, Jonathan’s mission is to travel from town to town at God’s prompting doing good deeds and helping people in need.  As I was watching that show I couldn’t help but think, how neat would it be, to be an angel on a mission from God to help and show love to those around me?     

    So often we get so caught up in our own personal trauma that we stop noticing the hurting and the broken.  According to Jesus, one of the greatest commandments is to “love your neighbor as you love yourself”.  But what are some tangible ways that we can love our neighbor?  One of the things that God has been putting on my heart is the desire to help others and set an example of what this verse really means.  About 12 years ago God gave me an opportunity to learn how to walk this one out.  I was on the way to go shopping in Castleton after a hard days work when I noticed a young man standing beside his broken down car on the side of Allisonville rd.  He was standing outside of his car (an older Caprice I think?) and his car had apparently overheated as smoke was wafting out of the cars grill.  Upon noticing this, I pulled over behind him and I asked him if I could help.  He simply asked if I could drop him at the gas station up the road so that he could get some water to fill up his cars radiator.  I drove him to the gas station and when we arrived he told me he would walk back.  I then proceeded to go shopping-- feeling quite good about myself for doing my good deed for the day.  On the way back home (approximately 1 hour later) I noticed thick black smoke on the horizon as I drove towards that location on Allisonville road again.  As I drove up to where I had earlier met the young man--I noticed that his Caprice had caught fire and burned to the ground.  Standing near the burned out car was the owner and a couple of firemen who were finishing hosing the car down.  As I drove by the scene I felt a soft voice speaking to my heart and prompting me to stop and give this young man my cash deposit for the day.  You see, I own a small electronics store and although I hadn’t yet counted my deposit, I knew I had a decent sized sum with me that day.  As I drove by the location I thought of all the reasons why I shouldn’t give this money to this guy.  Maybe I didn’t hear God’s voice correctly?  I began to justify why I needed that money myself.  My business was still struggling through tremendous financial adversity and I had so many bills due.  My house payment was almost 30 days late and my car payment was also late.  Why would I give a large amount of money to someone I don’t even know?  So I drove past the man, ignoring the voice inside, and began headed home.  Before I was 15 minutes down the road, I again felt that voice in my heart softly speaking to me to help this guy.  It was so overwhelming that I had to pull over.  As I sat on the road side pondering what I should do, I called one of my close friends and told her the story.  I asked her a simple question, do you think that it was God speaking to me or was that idea just mine?  Knowing me as well as she did, she jokingly replied that if I was feeling the compulsion to give someone money --it was obviously God. (Lol)   So I got back on the road and headed back towards the burned out Caprice.  When I arrived, the owner of the car was standing alongside a fireman and filling out paperwork.  His eyes were red and swollen and he was obviously very disheartened.  As he noticed me walk up--he thanked me for earlier giving him a ride.  I told him that I was sorry when I saw what happened.  As I handed him an envelope containing my store deposit, I explained to him that God told me to give him the envelope.  As he opened it and in stunned silence looked at the cash inside-- I told him “God sees you and wants you to have this money to help get another car”.  As he began to thank me—I simply told him that it wasn’t my idea—but the creator of the universe wanted him to know that he was profoundly loved by his father in heaven.  I then turned and walked towards my own car as tears were welling up in his eyes.  As I drove back home that evening I was so thankful that God gave me an opportunity to be used to help someone.  I was also thankful that although it was my first inclination to ignore that soft voice in my heart—I was given another opportunity to go back and be obedient to what God called me to do. 
   
    What if we as Christians started being intentional in looking for ways to show Christ’s love to those around us?  What if we, like the angel from Highway to heaven, began to look at ourselves as being on a mission from God to love those around us? What if Christ-followers started doing good deeds for no other reason but to honor God by loving our neighbors?  What if we began praying that God would give us the eyes to see the many needs around us—and then simply tried to meet those needs?  When we noticed that single mom standing in line to buy groceries for her four small children—we paid her bill for her.  When we hear about the older woman whose heat was cut off—we paid her bill for her.  When we find out about the family who was about to lose their home in a tax sale —we pay off that debt anonymously.  Think about it, because changing the world for Christ begins by helping the person right next to you.       

 

1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

"Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words." ~ Francis of Assisi

Precious Children in the Hands of a "Loving" God.

I remember being assigned to read the sermon Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God while in a composition class at Carmel Junior High School.  That sermon was written by theologian and preacher Jonathan Edwards in 1741.  The picture of God painted by this puritanical preacher was of an angry, spiteful and judgmental deity.  While reading this as a teenager, it definitely didn't inspire me to run into the arms of my beloved heavenly father.  Instead, this sermon caused me to want to hide from the one who loves me the most.  One paragraph in this sermon stated that "The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect, over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked; his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times so abominable in his eyes as the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours."

    Although a classic piece of 1700's literature--Jonathan Edwards couldn't have been more wrong about the character of the God he proposed to speak about. 
    I think a lot of us have developed an opinion of God that to some extent is similar to the God that Jonathan Edwards spoke about. Life experiences have often soured us to the idea of having (or even wanting) a personal relationship with God.  We misinterpret hardship as God's displeasure and misinterpret loneliness or financial trauma as abandonment. A lot of these feelings are even more intense when going through trauma like a divorce.  Often the hurts and wounds that we have experienced in life color our ability to see God's true character and heart. Like trying to look at someone clearly through cataracts--what we wind up seeing is a hazy distortion of the reality. Jesus came so that we can know God fully and view him through clear lenses. God's heart for us is that he loves us like precious children. He knows all of our flaws and weaknesses yet loves us nevertheless.  He sent his beloved son, Jesus, so that we might understand his profound love and compassion for us.  It was our heavenly fathers biggest desire that through experiencing his love for us--we might be forever changed.  God wants our relationship with him to transform us into the people we were destined to be.  He wants us to live righteous lives--but that righteousness should flow out of our intimacy with God.  No matter how you are feeling right now or what you are going through--rest assured that you have a heavenly father that loves you. God knows what's going on in your life and yearns for you to call out to him in the hard times.  Even if you aren't quite sure how you feel about God or aren't even sure if you believe in him, it's ok. God believes in you, loves you deeply and earnestly desires for you to know him.  Below are a few verses that talk about who God is and how he feels about us.

1 John 4:9-11 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

 

John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Lonely but never alone.

    Over the last eight months life has changed for me quite a bit. Even something as simple as "dating" has been a learning experience as the last "first date" I had was as a 17 year old. One thing I have learned about myself over the last eight months is that I really don't like being single.  I remember hearing a sermon in the past about the "gift" of singleness.  Now I know that some people are called to live a life of singleness serving Christ and I have tremendous respect for those men and women.  I however am not wired that way.  I remember thinking when I heard that sermon about the gift of singleness, that I would return that gift immediately upon receipt (lol).  That “gift” in my opinion would almost be like receiving the "gift of an IRS tax audit" or the "gift of a receding hairline."  Back then I never thought I would have to experience being single again.  Yet here I am, a single guy, at the age of 48.  Rather unexpectedly I lost my identity as a husband and a provider.   Due to that experience it has been a real process walking through some pretty large foundational changes in both my life and how I view myself.    
    An analogy I would use to illustrate the trauma of losing your spouse--would be to sustain a severe battlefield injury.  Being a Soldier I have had the opportunity to speak to veterans that have been severely injured in combat.  The trauma of divorce to me is like losing your right arm (to the shoulder) in combat.  After losing a limb, I have been told, that often you can still feel your fingers tingling even though your arm is gone.  That phenomenon is called "phantom limb pain" and it's medically documented.  Also people that lose limbs in combat, for quite awhile, forget that the limb is even gone.  It takes awhile before they stop subconsciously attempting to reach out and pick up something with the arm that is no longer there.  
    With divorce (or any loss of a spouse or a child) you may experience similar symptoms.  You might wake up in the morning forgetting that your life has changed.  Whereas you previously had someone to talk to when you got home from work--you now come home to overwhelming silence.  Whereas you previously had someone to sit beside at church--you now find yourself sitting alone.  You even find yourself attending Bible studies, movies or even going to restaurants by yourself.  Something as simple as shopping for groceries can even be painful.  While navigating the aisles near the floral display--that’s when it might hit you that you no longer have anyone to buy flowers for.  
    Regardless of what loss you are experiencing now, remember that although at times you might feel lonely--you are never alone because you have a heavenly father that loves you profoundly. Most importantly, God wants to meet you in that place of loneliness and longing.  Below are a few verses that had been encouraging to me as I walked through the trauma of divorce.

　
　

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
　

Psalm 68:5-7, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”

Romans 8:35-39 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Brian's thought for the day

"Learning to step back and trust God with the most important people in our lives is one of the hardest tests any man (or woman) will ever face.  It is a critical part of growing in our relationship with Jesus, however.  God is both able and faithful to take care of those we cherish when we entrust them to his loving care."  - Brian

The Desire For A Covenant Relationship

    A few weeks ago I got into a good conversation with a guy about “Covenantal Relationships”.  This soldier was an Iraq veteran and a classmate of mine in the Army school I was attending.  He was an extremely nice guy although his identity was very much tied into “being a player”.  As we were talking that afternoon I was asked what I thought about marriage, now that I was divorced.  I told this soldier that I still very much believe in the marriage "covenant" and looked forward to someday getting remarried if it was in God’s will.  I was surprised at how adamantly opposed to the concept of marriage (or even monogamy) that this guy was.  It was then that I explained to him the Biblical concept of a covenantal relationship. 
   To illustrate this, I told him the story of Dave Roever.  Dave was a former Navy gunner’s mate in Viet Nam who was severely injured while on a patrol boat when an incendiary grenade went off in his hand.  The WP grenade blew off half of Dave’s face, his left ear and destroyed both of his hands.  He was burned so horrifically that when his buddies pulled him out of the water they all assumed he was dead.  Dave was eventually transported to a military hospital in the United States and upon arrival his new roommate was an injured soldier who had his lower legs blown off in Viet Nam.  His roomates wife came by to visit her husband later that week.  When the wife looked at her “damaged” husband she took off her wedding band and set it on his bed and left the hospital.  Watching this take place, Dave fell into deep depression.  He had only been married to his beautiful wife, Brenda, for less than a year when he was sent to Nam.  He thought how could she, or anybody, love someone so grotesque?  Although Dave was a Christian, he quickly lost all hope and desire to live.  Later the next day his young wife arrived at the hospital.  As she walked in and for the first time looked at her severely burned husband and his unrecognizable face—Dave cringed expecting rejection.  Instead, Brenda walked straight up to him kissed his forehead and said, “I want you to know that I love you.  Welcome home, Davey.” 
    Upon telling my classmate this story, his eyes teared up and he told me "that" would be a love that he would marry for.  He opened up with me and revealed that he had previously been married for 2 years.  He loved his ex-wife (at the time) and had always been faithful to her.  When he went off to war in Iraq however, unbeknownst to him, she found someone else while he was away.  When this soldier came back after his one year tour of combat, eager to see his wife, what he received instead was a divorce petition.  He told me that after that happened he made a vow to never trust a woman again.   He also went on to tell me that in the deepest part of his heart he wanted to experience a love like Brenda Roever has for her husband Dave.  Who wouldn't want a love like that?  I went on to tell this soldier that the reason that Dave’s wife Brenda was able to love him “unconditionally” like that was because she had first experienced that unconditional love herself through her relationship with Jesus Christ.  You see, you can’t give away something that you don’t already have.  I firmly believe that it’s impossible to love someone unconditionally unless you yourself have first experienced unconditional love.  Through offering up his own beloved son, Jesus, God entered into an irrevocable covenant with mankind.  A covenantal relationship stating that anyone that would believe in Jesus and receive him as their Lord and Savior would have eternal life.  But even more important is the fact that upon entering into that Covenant with God we become his beloved children. 
    We live in a world where it seems like everything is disposable, even people and relationships.  The current divorce rate among Christians is over 50%. The divorce rate with 2nd marriages is even higher. Are we really "happier" in our society now than in the 1950's when the divorce rate was almost nonexistent? I think everyone in the deepest part of their heart (myself included) desire that deep covenantal relationship like Dave and Brenda Roever share.  Who among us doesn’t desire a covenantal and unconditional relationship like the one illustrated in the movie "the notebook?" However, making a commitment to love your spouse; "for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part,” seems to be an almost impossible accomplishment in our modern society.  I just finished an awesome book by Craig Hill called, 'The Power of a Parents Blessing.' In this book, the author had quite a lot of insight when speaking about the proliferation of divorce (especially within Christian circles).  The author stated that "divorce presents marriage as a conditional contract based on works or performance. Thus divorce distorts the prophetic image of how Christ will treat us, his bride. Instead of being a grace based unconditional covenant, marriage is seen as a performance based, conditional contract in which the errant party can be thrown out and replaced with someone else who will perform more satisfactorily."  Marriage, to a Christian, should be a covenant relationship.  It is two people coming together in agreement to love each other unconditionally.  As a covenant, God gives very specific guidance on the circumstances where divorce is scripturally permissible.  Even when those circumstances exist where God allows divorce however, it still doesn't mean that he demands it.  
    I pray as I continue on my journey through experiencing that unconditional love from my father in heaven--God will continue to teach me how to love people like Jesus did.

1 John 4:16 "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

Romans 5:8

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."