Thankful on Thanksgiving 2016

  

  As I sit here celebrating Thanksgiving  with my family, I think of the numerous things I have to be thankful for this year.  It wasn't that long ago, however, that I vividly remember a Thanksgiving when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for.  At that time in my life I had just found out that my previous marriage of 25 years was over and the rejection that came with that realization was overwhelming.  Additionally, my finances were a shamble and I was forced into moving in with my mom as I had nowhere else to go.  Our family business (Havilah's Boutique) was on the verge of bankruptcy, our beautiful home in Fishers was in the process of foreclosure and I seemed to be surrounded by nothing but loss.  My time was divided between attempting to negotiate with debt collectors, working three jobs, and mourning the loss of my family.   I felt like a complete failure in life and I had very little hope that things would get better.  Honestly, If there was ever a time in my life that I wanted to just give up on life—it was then. 
    That thanksgiving I made a conscious decision, however, to be thankful despite all the trauma around me.  I started listing off all the things that I could be thankful for.  At that time my list was pretty short:  I was thankful that I had all my teeth, I was thankful that I did a great Sylvester Stallone imitation, that I had a functional vehicle (my high mileage 1998 Dodge Grand caravan that burned oil and smoked heavily when it was running).    One thing on my list that stood out however was I was thankful that God was good and I knew that my heavenly father loved me.  Although I didn’t feel very loved at that time, and I didn't see much evidence of that fact, nevertheless I held on to that hope.  I really was thankful that God loved me and I decided to intentionally place my trust in him because I had no one else to turn to.  

    It’s four years later now and life is so much different.  I feel like God has restored everything I lost plus even more.  I now have a wonderful/loving wife (Heather) whom I adore and who makes life fun.  She's beautiful both inside and out and challenges me in my relationship with God, daily.  I'm so thankful for Heather and so glad for the great relationship she has with all my kids.  She is such a great partner on this journey.  I'm thankful that my children are all doing wonderfully and I’m so proud of them all.  I'm thankful that my oldest son, Izzy, just announced his engagement to his lovely fiancée (Kellie) whom I’m honored to have as my future daughter in law.  I'm thankful for my two step sons, Ryan and Lucas.  They are both awesome kids whom I now have the privilege of helping mentor and develop into the men that God has called them to be.  I'm thankful for the Ferguson clan (The family I married into.)  My father and mother in law are both former missionaries who made me immediately feel like part of their family.  Claude (my father in law) is a former Marine with a great sense of humor and in a relatively short time we’ve become great friends.  His wife, Jan, is one of the sweetest Christian women I've ever met and she has this gift for making everyone feel welcome.  I'm thankful for Heather's siblings.  The first time we all got together I just felt like we fit together so well and I’m so grateful for all of the cool brother and sister's in law and awesome nieces and nephews that I now have in my extended family.  Even financially it seems like I’ve experienced complete restoration.  Both of our businesses (Soundsational and my job as a real estate broker for FC Tucker) have been doing exceptionally well and I’m thankful for the abundant blessings I see all around me.  Most importantly however I’m thankful that I know in the deepest part of my heart that God is good,  he loves us profoundly, and he is always with us despite whatever life circumstances we might face.  Feeling exceedingly grateful this thanksgiving season.     

(Psalm 28:6-7)  “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” 

(Psalm 30:1-12)  “I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. . . . You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” 

O Tidings Of Comfort And Joy.

    I just found out this morning that my lovely cousin Lori, died last night.  She leaves behind two beautiful daughters whom she loved dearly.  I have been praying ever since I was notified --that God would make his presence known to both of her girls and the rest of our family during this difficult time.   It has really caused me to think about those among us currently going through loss and how that hardship is often amplified by the festivities of the Christmas season.  Instead of a time of joy, often Christmas becomes a time when that loss becomes even more apparent.    

    It wasn’t but a few short years ago that I was going into the Christmas holiday facing my own personal loss.  I had just been hit with the reality of a pending divorce (after 25 years of marriage).  This combined with broken family relationships, the loss of our home, bankruptcy of our business, and the loss of any retirement savings we had, led to a feeling of hopelessness that seemed overwhelming.  I remember on Christmas that year, after dropping presents off for my kids, I just sat and wept in my car in stunned disbelief at the chaos that was going on in my life.   Things were falling apart all around me and I remember feeling completely powerless, broken and weak.  It was in that place however, that I cried out to God and He met me in my brokenness.  He heard my prayers and made his presence known to me in so many tangible ways.  Looking back on that period of my life, I’m aware of how gently God spoke to me through some of the people he placed in my life.  I remember how my heavenly father encouraged me and let me know that I wasn’t alone, regardless of how I felt at the time. 
   
    Over the last 3 years I’ve seen God bless me with my beautiful new wife, Heather, and her two awesome sons.  I’ve changed careers and am now working with some wonderful people as a realtor/broker with the F.C. Tucker Company.  I’ve seen my relationship with my kids grow stronger than it even was.  I’ve seen restoration in every area of my life and am so thankful that I serve a God that loves me and cares about those of us who are hurting.  For those of you facing hardship this Christmas season, just remember that God loves you and wants to be there for you if you call out to him.  He understands pain and loss and wants to meet you in that broken place and comfort you with his love and presence.  If you turn your heart towards your loving heavenly father--even if you don’t feel that comfort right now—it’s coming.  I want to leave everyone with a few verses about God’s love and comfort. 

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 27:13  "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." 

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

John 16:33: "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer. I have overcome the world."

Romans 8:37-39: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities nor powers, neither things present nor things to come, neither height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The "lie" of hopelessness and despair.

 

I recently got a late night phone call from an old high school friend that wanted to talk.  One of his friends from childhood had recently committed suicide and he was trying to make sense of it all.  We both wondered what kind of deep issue was his friend dealing with that made him feel so hopeless that he decided suicide was the best way to end the pain?  We were on the phone for quite a while that evening, with me doing a lot of listening.  The thought struck me as we were talking, how many people going through hardship get to that point of complete hopelessness and despair?  I know there have been a few times in the recent past where I was close to feeling hopeless.  Just a few short years ago my life had been torn down to the studs and I felt completely overwhelmed as everything around me seemed to be spiraling out of control.  It was in that place however that I cried out to God.  And God met me in my sorrow and hardship and made His presence tangibly known in so many little ways.  Seeing his fingerprint in my life in even small ways gave me hope.  Even in the hardest times I learned that God was good and even though I was powerless in my situation—he wasn’t.  Looking back on that time I  am so grateful for all the tremendous blessings in my life currently.  I feel like God has completely restored all the things I had lost.  I am thankful that I finally learned the secret that no matter what hardship I am facing, God loves me and holds me safely in the palm of his hands.  If you are going through hardship and trauma in your life right now and are feeling overwhelmed—just know that God is not unaware of your situation.  Whether you are going through divorce, the death of a spouse or child, loss of a job, a terminal cancer diagnosis, or any other hardship--God loves you and he hasn't forgotten your pain.  The scriptures say that "nothing can ever separate us from God's love".  Your heavenly father wants you to cry out to him and let HIM be your comforter. He wants you to lean on his strong shoulders and know that he has everything under control if you will just turn to him and trust him.  Below are a couple of scriptures that gave me hope in the hard times.

Psalm 27:13 “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.”


Romans 8:35-39 "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.   And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
 

1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Grateful!

Sitting at vineyard (church) today with my beautiful wife and two stepsons while watching my oldest son lead worship. The thought occurred to me while I was worshipping--that our Heavenly Father is amazing!! How incredible is God that he can take our brokenness and pain and bring about such beauty and joy. I'm so grateful that I serve a God who's heart is "to comfort those who mourn and provide for those who grieve." Feeling very grateful.

Don't lose Hope.

I talked to a young woman the other day whose husband of 14 years had recently decided to leave her.  He had informed her that he had fallen in love with someone else.  She was feeling completely overwhelmed as she has two children who are also struggling with the feelings of rejection, abandonment and fear that come with separation or divorce.  All I could do was encourage her that God was not unaware of her circumstances.  I told her that God loved her and wanted to comfort her and her kids in this dark place.  I encouraged her that God held her safely in the palms of his hands. 

   Sometimes people just need to be reminded that God sees their hardship and cares for them.  I remember when I first realized that my previous marriage was not going to survive.  I was overcome with heartbreak, powerlessness and hopelessness.  My life was unravelling, and I had no control over my circumstances.  All I could do was hold on tightly to God through the hard times as I felt like He was my only hope.   As it turns out that was exactly what I needed.  It wasn't just an act of desperation, but it was the one thing I did that helped the most.  I am so thankful that I had faithful Christian friends (Bob, Mike, Steve, Nancy, Ward) that God brought alongside me to encourage me and pray for me when life seemed to be so bleak.  In my case, things turned out far different than I expected.  Although I never expected to be divorced after 25 years of marriage—those were my circumstances.  To compound that, the small business I had opened with my former spouse, wound up closing.  When Havilah’s Boutique closed down and eventually went bankrupt that set off an additional whirlwind of loss.  Much of what I didn’t lose in the divorce—I sold to pay down the staggering business debt that was all I had left of that business.   I had no retirement, no savings, no home and no plan--but I did have hope.  Although I felt like that caricature of the middle aged divorced guy living with his 75 year old mother, I had that small hope that God would still work this out for good in my life because he loves me.  The feeling of hope started small and started building the more that I poured out my heart to God.  The more I pursued God’s heart the more I would see his fingerprints on my life in so many profound ways.  Now, almost 2 years down the road, I have seen such restoration in my life.  I still sometimes sit in stunned amazement at all of the blessings that God has brought into my life.  All the things that I lost have been restored multiple times over.  I married a woman that is truly a gift from God.  I have two stepsons that I adore and it seems like in so many ways God is continuing to lavish me with his love and affection.  For those of you going through the pain of broken relationships right now—don’t lose hope.  If you seek God in the hard places he definitely has the ability to restore relationships that have been broken.  I have heard multiple stories from Christians whose marriages have been restored stronger than ever, even after situations where it seemed like those relationships were over.  I know people who have seen reconciliation with their kids, parents, spouse when they sought after God in the midst of hardship.  Even if your marriage can’t be saved however —God still has a plan for you.  Your heavenly father has this unique ability to bring good things out of even the most traumatic situation.  I'm a shining example of how God can take someones life where circumstances appear hopeless and still rewrite the script and add a happy ending.  I am so thankful that I am learning to be able to trust God's character regardless of how I feel or what I see.  I am also thankful that I have truly learned, in the deepest parts of my heart, that our heavenly father is faithful and he loves his children profoundly.   

Romans 5:5  "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Psalm 27:4-5 "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock."

Believing without seeing

At different points in my life I’ve been in situations where I encountered things that (at the time) felt completely overwhelming.  Looking back it seems like those situations helped me to begin to comprehend the faithfulness of God.  Many times in the past--people, looking at me from the outside, would assume I had everything together.   Although I legitimately loved God and trusted he would arise and help other people—subconsciously I always expected him to reject or abandon me in the hard times.  Crisis often shook me to the core because it revealed the doubt, pride, lack of faith and fear of rejection that was always there lurking beneath the surface.  When I would encounter hardship I used to panic and spend copious amounts of time in prayer.  I almost felt like if I prayed “hard enough” God might hear me and help.  I was living my spiritual life like a peasant begging for God's notice--unaware that I was one of his beloved children and already had his full attention.  Once my prayers were answered, I would relax again and feel peaceful.  That wasn't because of any legitimate trust in God however, but simply because my circumstances changed.  But is God only good when he gives us things?  Is he only faithful when he answers our prayers the way we want him to?  A few years ago that pattern changed. God was faithful enough to allow the circumstances to come about so that he could address the fear, pain, brokenness and pride that was buried deep in my heart.   At the time God definitely didn’t seem to answer my prayers and my circumstances were unbearable.  In that dark place, however, is where he spoke to my heart and I finally began to understand his profound love for me.  It took losing everything (or so I thought) for me to finally understand in the deepest places-- my heavenly fathers enormous love for me.  You see, once you can praise and trust God even when things are falling apart--then you can be certain you have a firm faith.  Otherwise, your hope is always at the mercy of your circumstances.  A.W. Tozer once said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”

John 20:29 - "Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Learning to trust

As I've grown older Ive just started to learn to trust God in the really hard places. For it's in those places where our faith is really tested and refined. As I look back-- the times when I felt the most lonely, rejected, fearful and abandoned are the times when God made himself known to me in the most tangible ways. During the periods in my life where things just weren't going according to "my plans", I discovered that despite my fears God had much better plans for me. If you are going through hard times right now, call out to your heavenly father. He loves you and wants to make his presence known in your life. - Brian

A crown of beauty instead of ashes

Over the last 2 years I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life.  Much of it, I didn’t desire at the time.  When I was served with divorce papers after being married for 25 years—I initially felt like a 2,000 lb boulder just landed on my chest.  When the additional realization hit that I was also facing the failure of our family business (Havilah’s Boutique) and the loss of my home and financial security I felt like my life was over.  It felt like my best days were long behind me.  The combination of shock, sadness and rejection was overwhelming.  Yet, I made the conscious decision to trust in Gods’ goodness.  Although I didn’t understand the hardship around me—I did understand and believe that God loved me and held me safely in the palm of his hand.  Sometimes when it appears like you’ve lost everything—you discover that Christ is all you need.  Over the last 2 years I’ve seen God’s hand at work in my life in so many ways.  I’ve seen him faithfully working in my children’s lives as they’ve walked through this hard season as well.  I’ve seen my relationship with my children grow stronger than it’s ever been.  I’ve seen Gods provision in allowing me to purchase a new car (as my older car was breaking down) and move into a home even though my credit was damaged severely.  Last year I saw God bring a beautiful woman and her 2 sons into my life.  The more we got to know each other it became apparent we both seemed to be on the same frequency --as she had also learned to depend on God as she went through her own journey through loss and pain.  She (Heather) had also lost her spouse, although not through divorce but through a fatal traffic accident.  As many of you know, Heather and I got engaged a few weeks back.  I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with this lovely woman and her amazing sons.  I dearly love them and I fully believe God has brought us together.  Now, instead of feeling my best days are behind me--instead I’m looking forward to the all the neat adventures that God has in store for us in the future.  If you are currently going through hardship and trauma—pour out your grief before God.  He loves you and wants to take the hardship and pain in your life and create something beautiful out of it.  In the book of Isaiah it says that it’s God’s desire to comfort those of us that mourn and to bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.  Im so grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers, comforts us in our pain and dearly loves his children.     

 

Isaiah 61:1-3

 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”