A crown of beauty instead of ashes

Over the last 2 years I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life.  Much of it, I didn’t desire at the time.  When I was served with divorce papers after being married for 25 years—I initially felt like a 2,000 lb boulder just landed on my chest.  When the additional realization hit that I was also facing the failure of our family business (Havilah’s Boutique) and the loss of my home and financial security I felt like my life was over.  It felt like my best days were long behind me.  The combination of shock, sadness and rejection was overwhelming.  Yet, I made the conscious decision to trust in Gods’ goodness.  Although I didn’t understand the hardship around me—I did understand and believe that God loved me and held me safely in the palm of his hand.  Sometimes when it appears like you’ve lost everything—you discover that Christ is all you need.  Over the last 2 years I’ve seen God’s hand at work in my life in so many ways.  I’ve seen him faithfully working in my children’s lives as they’ve walked through this hard season as well.  I’ve seen my relationship with my children grow stronger than it’s ever been.  I’ve seen Gods provision in allowing me to purchase a new car (as my older car was breaking down) and move into a home even though my credit was damaged severely.  Last year I saw God bring a beautiful woman and her 2 sons into my life.  The more we got to know each other it became apparent we both seemed to be on the same frequency --as she had also learned to depend on God as she went through her own journey through loss and pain.  She (Heather) had also lost her spouse, although not through divorce but through a fatal traffic accident.  As many of you know, Heather and I got engaged a few weeks back.  I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with this lovely woman and her amazing sons.  I dearly love them and I fully believe God has brought us together.  Now, instead of feeling my best days are behind me--instead I’m looking forward to the all the neat adventures that God has in store for us in the future.  If you are currently going through hardship and trauma—pour out your grief before God.  He loves you and wants to take the hardship and pain in your life and create something beautiful out of it.  In the book of Isaiah it says that it’s God’s desire to comfort those of us that mourn and to bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.  Im so grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers, comforts us in our pain and dearly loves his children.     

 

Isaiah 61:1-3

 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

New Years Eve Facebook Post

Happy New Year's to all my Facebook friends. When I look back over all the transition I've gone through over the past year I'm so grateful for where I'm currently at. Last year on New Year's Eve it was hard for me to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Everything around me seemed dark and cold. when I tried to project myself into the future all I could see was more loss and pain. God was faithful to meet me in that place however. He showed himself so faithful to me and let me know in so many ways that he "saw me" and that he held me securely in his loving arms.  Now, a year later--as I look at where I'm at currently I'm so grateful. God has brought old friends back into my life and some wonderful new ones as well. He has started the restoration process in my life. I have a new home and I'm so excited about all the new adventures that God has for me in the future. I'm so glad that I serve a God that has compassion on his children when they're hurting and always hears their prayers. I'm also thankful that I go to a wonderful church with an awesome pastoral staff. Lastly I'm thankful for my family and that God has blessed me with an amazing mother, sister and some absolutely wonderful kids--all of whom I'm very proud of and love dearly. 

 

 

Psalms 23:4 "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

Brian's thought for the day

Who do you choose to put your trust in when things are hard and when nothing seems to make sense? Who do you lean into when facing loss or hardship? When it seems like everything in your life has been uprooted their is still somebody that you can depend on. Your heavenly father loves you and wants you to rest in him even when the storms of life seem out of control. The more you seek him the more clearly you will be able to see his heart for you. The more you look to him--the more you will be able to be at peace even when circumstances seem overwhelming.  - Brian


"Come to me, all you were weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28–30

Being the hands and feet of Jesus.

    The other night I was watching the DVD collection of the old TV series “Highway to Heaven” starring Michael Landon.  I love that show!  The show (for those who haven’t seen it) was about an angel named Jonathan Smith (Landon) and his best friend/sidekick Mark Gordon.  In the show, Jonathan’s mission is to travel from town to town at God’s prompting doing good deeds and helping people in need.  As I was watching that show I couldn’t help but think, how neat would it be, to be an angel on a mission from God to help and show love to those around me?     

    So often we get so caught up in our own personal trauma that we stop noticing the hurting and the broken.  According to Jesus, one of the greatest commandments is to “love your neighbor as you love yourself”.  But what are some tangible ways that we can love our neighbor?  One of the things that God has been putting on my heart is the desire to help others and set an example of what this verse really means.  About 12 years ago God gave me an opportunity to learn how to walk this one out.  I was on the way to go shopping in Castleton after a hard days work when I noticed a young man standing beside his broken down car on the side of Allisonville rd.  He was standing outside of his car (an older Caprice I think?) and his car had apparently overheated as smoke was wafting out of the cars grill.  Upon noticing this, I pulled over behind him and I asked him if I could help.  He simply asked if I could drop him at the gas station up the road so that he could get some water to fill up his cars radiator.  I drove him to the gas station and when we arrived he told me he would walk back.  I then proceeded to go shopping-- feeling quite good about myself for doing my good deed for the day.  On the way back home (approximately 1 hour later) I noticed thick black smoke on the horizon as I drove towards that location on Allisonville road again.  As I drove up to where I had earlier met the young man--I noticed that his Caprice had caught fire and burned to the ground.  Standing near the burned out car was the owner and a couple of firemen who were finishing hosing the car down.  As I drove by the scene I felt a soft voice speaking to my heart and prompting me to stop and give this young man my cash deposit for the day.  You see, I own a small electronics store and although I hadn’t yet counted my deposit, I knew I had a decent sized sum with me that day.  As I drove by the location I thought of all the reasons why I shouldn’t give this money to this guy.  Maybe I didn’t hear God’s voice correctly?  I began to justify why I needed that money myself.  My business was still struggling through tremendous financial adversity and I had so many bills due.  My house payment was almost 30 days late and my car payment was also late.  Why would I give a large amount of money to someone I don’t even know?  So I drove past the man, ignoring the voice inside, and began headed home.  Before I was 15 minutes down the road, I again felt that voice in my heart softly speaking to me to help this guy.  It was so overwhelming that I had to pull over.  As I sat on the road side pondering what I should do, I called one of my close friends and told her the story.  I asked her a simple question, do you think that it was God speaking to me or was that idea just mine?  Knowing me as well as she did, she jokingly replied that if I was feeling the compulsion to give someone money --it was obviously God. (Lol)   So I got back on the road and headed back towards the burned out Caprice.  When I arrived, the owner of the car was standing alongside a fireman and filling out paperwork.  His eyes were red and swollen and he was obviously very disheartened.  As he noticed me walk up--he thanked me for earlier giving him a ride.  I told him that I was sorry when I saw what happened.  As I handed him an envelope containing my store deposit, I explained to him that God told me to give him the envelope.  As he opened it and in stunned silence looked at the cash inside-- I told him “God sees you and wants you to have this money to help get another car”.  As he began to thank me—I simply told him that it wasn’t my idea—but the creator of the universe wanted him to know that he was profoundly loved by his father in heaven.  I then turned and walked towards my own car as tears were welling up in his eyes.  As I drove back home that evening I was so thankful that God gave me an opportunity to be used to help someone.  I was also thankful that although it was my first inclination to ignore that soft voice in my heart—I was given another opportunity to go back and be obedient to what God called me to do. 
   
    What if we as Christians started being intentional in looking for ways to show Christ’s love to those around us?  What if we, like the angel from Highway to heaven, began to look at ourselves as being on a mission from God to love those around us? What if Christ-followers started doing good deeds for no other reason but to honor God by loving our neighbors?  What if we began praying that God would give us the eyes to see the many needs around us—and then simply tried to meet those needs?  When we noticed that single mom standing in line to buy groceries for her four small children—we paid her bill for her.  When we hear about the older woman whose heat was cut off—we paid her bill for her.  When we find out about the family who was about to lose their home in a tax sale —we pay off that debt anonymously.  Think about it, because changing the world for Christ begins by helping the person right next to you.       

 

1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

"Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words." ~ Francis of Assisi

Looking at God through clear eyes.

    I had been contacted recently by friends that have been dealing with everything from the rejection of divorce or marital infidelity to loss of employment and home foreclosure.  I just want to encourage anyone going through hardship right now that your heavenly father is with you in your present situation and has good things planned for you in the future.  Even if you don’t “know” God, He knows you. He sees your adversity and earnestly desires for you to turn to him in your pain.  When we go through suffering sometimes it’s hard to see past the current trauma and understand that God has good things for us.  The reason behind this is often due to our heart believing lies about God that prevent us from accurately viewing his character.  God cares for you as his own dearly beloved child.  He is captivated with you and wants nothing but good things for you.  However we live in a fallen world among broken people (ourselves included) and sometimes pain and hardship is part of this journey.  
    A story that always troubled me in the Bible was the story of Job.  For those of you unfamiliar with Job, he was a very successful and righteous man who despite having almost everything in his life stripped away, still remained faithful to God.  He refused to blame God for his misfortune and refused to see God as anything other than a loving, righteous creator despite what was happening all around him.  I would always read that story and hope that I never had to face any of the hardship Job did.  You see, I didn’t always have a solid trust that God loved me.  I saw him as an angry but emotionally distant deity. And I firmly believed in my heart that God had much more important people to worry about than me.  In fact when things would get hard I not only failed to see God’s presence in my hardship—I would often believe that it was HE that was the cause of my pain.  The lies in my heart prevented me from clearly seeing the one who loved me more than anyone.  In the past if I would simply bounce a check at the bank--I would blame God for my NSF fees (lol). I have found while walking through some of the hardest things I have ever dealt with however, that God is always faithful and he is ever present with us especially in the painful times. He will never abandon you or turn his face away from you.  Remember, it’s God's intent to give you the desires of your heart.  But it’s his even bigger longing that you would understand his great love for you.  I have also found that although things might look dark at present—God has good things planned just around the corner.  One thing I never noticed before while reading the book of Job, was the ending of that story.  I always got stuck thinking about all the tragedy that Job went through.  In the ending of the story however is a short but powerful statement about Job that also applies to those of us "Christ followers" that are experiencing pain and loss in the present.  “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” (Job 42:12). 

“As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”  James 5:11

Seeing people through the eyes of Jesus

I look back a few years ago at how easy it was for me to judge others in their hardship.  I had been a “Christ follower” since I was age 16—and in my strength I felt pretty good about my relationship with God.  I didn’t struggle with addictions and I lived a relatively righteous life (at least by my own standards).  Although I had the “appearance” of righteousness if you would have looked a little closer you would have noticed that my empathy for others was severely lacking.  I judged people so much by their appearance back then.  I remember as an immature High School student (and a new believer) chastising one of my Christian friends for “being worldly” when he got his left ear pierced.  Culturally in the 1980’s, guys having their ears pierced was not very common.  A decade later I got the opportunity to apologize to that friend for my judgment against him years earlier.  Interestingly enough, by that time I was the one with the pierced ears (Lol).  Years ago when I was extremely successful in business I would look around at men that were going through financial trauma and it was so easy to subconciously judge them in their hardship.  That was until the failure of one of my retail stores in 1999, left me 250k in debt.  I also remember in the past finding out a close friend of mine was getting divorced—and at that time it was easy for me to question his situation.  Maybe if they worked harder at making their marriage work, they could have avoided that trauma?  I judged their situation instead of trying to have compassion on the pain and loss they must be feeling.  Things have changed a lot with my perspective on divorce as well, after I saw the disintegration of my own marriage.  It’s taken my own personal failures, brokenness and hardship to help me truly begin to fathom God’s heart towards the hurting and weak.   Isn’t it interesting that during the years of Jesus public ministry one of the things that differentiated him from the other religious leaders and teachers of his era was his deep compassion for the hurting.  He showed compassion to the prostitutes and tax collectors instead of judging them.  He didn’t need to tell them that their lives were a mess—they already knew that.  He didn’t need to tell them they were living a debased/immoral lifestyle—they were also well aware of that fact.  He showed them compassion and it changed their lives.  A former prostitute (Mary Magdalene) became a leader in the early Christian community.  A former tax collector (who in that society had the social standing of a crack cocaine dealer) became one of his disciples and closest friends.  Jesus surrounded himself with the broken, abused, uneducated and people that society had little use for.  Jesus didn’t judge or castigate them—he loved them into righteousness.  His followers didn’t “look the part” of the religious establishment.  They were a rag tag bunch of social outcasts that wound up changing the society around them because of how they were first changed by Jesus.  The people that Jesus was harsh towards were the religious people, that had the appearance of having everything together, yet had no compassion towards the broken all around them.  These were the people that Jesus called “white washed tombs" and "vipers.” Recently one of the pastors at my church, Barry, gave a sermon where he talked about hanging out regularly at a local bar for the purpose of befriending people.  He was the “undercover pastor” listening to people share their hearts at the bar while he just sat there and drank his diet coke.  Barry would sit in the background non judgmentally listening to people and waiting for opportunities to help.  That is how I feel Jesus would be spending his time if he were physically walking the streets of Indianapolis.   You would find Jesus sitting on a street corner hanging out with the homeless man --nobody else realizing that this homeless man was a former military veteran suffering from PTSD.  You would find Jesus having dinner with the member of a local motorcycle gang.  Jesus would look past the man’s hard appearance and see the scared, abandoned little boy that lives beneath the heavily tattooed exterior.  Jesus would be praying with the young anorexic girl that cuts herself to mask the pain of her sexual abuse as a child.  He would be visiting the drug addict at the local jail, NOT as a ministry project, but because he was sincerely concerned for that man and his 3 small children.  That was what differentiated Jesus from the religious leaders around him—and that compassion is what should differentiate his followers as well.  Not simply how they look or dress, what their political beliefs are, how much scripture they can quote or how large of a Bible that they carry.  Like the scriptures say, “it’s the kindness of God that leads to repentance.”           

 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” – 1 John 4:12

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” - Augustine