O Tidings Of Comfort And Joy.

    I just found out this morning that my lovely cousin Lori, died last night.  She leaves behind two beautiful daughters whom she loved dearly.  I have been praying ever since I was notified --that God would make his presence known to both of her girls and the rest of our family during this difficult time.   It has really caused me to think about those among us currently going through loss and how that hardship is often amplified by the festivities of the Christmas season.  Instead of a time of joy, often Christmas becomes a time when that loss becomes even more apparent.    

    It wasn’t but a few short years ago that I was going into the Christmas holiday facing my own personal loss.  I had just been hit with the reality of a pending divorce (after 25 years of marriage).  This combined with broken family relationships, the loss of our home, bankruptcy of our business, and the loss of any retirement savings we had, led to a feeling of hopelessness that seemed overwhelming.  I remember on Christmas that year, after dropping presents off for my kids, I just sat and wept in my car in stunned disbelief at the chaos that was going on in my life.   Things were falling apart all around me and I remember feeling completely powerless, broken and weak.  It was in that place however, that I cried out to God and He met me in my brokenness.  He heard my prayers and made his presence known to me in so many tangible ways.  Looking back on that period of my life, I’m aware of how gently God spoke to me through some of the people he placed in my life.  I remember how my heavenly father encouraged me and let me know that I wasn’t alone, regardless of how I felt at the time. 
   
    Over the last 3 years I’ve seen God bless me with my beautiful new wife, Heather, and her two awesome sons.  I’ve changed careers and am now working with some wonderful people as a realtor/broker with the F.C. Tucker Company.  I’ve seen my relationship with my kids grow stronger than it even was.  I’ve seen restoration in every area of my life and am so thankful that I serve a God that loves me and cares about those of us who are hurting.  For those of you facing hardship this Christmas season, just remember that God loves you and wants to be there for you if you call out to him.  He understands pain and loss and wants to meet you in that broken place and comfort you with his love and presence.  If you turn your heart towards your loving heavenly father--even if you don’t feel that comfort right now—it’s coming.  I want to leave everyone with a few verses about God’s love and comfort. 

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” 

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 27:13  "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." 

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

John 16:33: "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer. I have overcome the world."

Romans 8:37-39: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities nor powers, neither things present nor things to come, neither height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

God is faithful.

I have been through almost overwhelming hardship and I've been through periods of tremendous blessing.  I can tell you that the good times were always more fun.  Regardless of what was going on however, God was always faithful to me despite any outside circumstances.  My thought for the day.

Don't lose Hope.

I talked to a young woman the other day whose husband of 14 years had recently decided to leave her.  He had informed her that he had fallen in love with someone else.  She was feeling completely overwhelmed as she has two children who are also struggling with the feelings of rejection, abandonment and fear that come with separation or divorce.  All I could do was encourage her that God was not unaware of her circumstances.  I told her that God loved her and wanted to comfort her and her kids in this dark place.  I encouraged her that God held her safely in the palms of his hands. 

   Sometimes people just need to be reminded that God sees their hardship and cares for them.  I remember when I first realized that my previous marriage was not going to survive.  I was overcome with heartbreak, powerlessness and hopelessness.  My life was unravelling, and I had no control over my circumstances.  All I could do was hold on tightly to God through the hard times as I felt like He was my only hope.   As it turns out that was exactly what I needed.  It wasn't just an act of desperation, but it was the one thing I did that helped the most.  I am so thankful that I had faithful Christian friends (Bob, Mike, Steve, Nancy, Ward) that God brought alongside me to encourage me and pray for me when life seemed to be so bleak.  In my case, things turned out far different than I expected.  Although I never expected to be divorced after 25 years of marriage—those were my circumstances.  To compound that, the small business I had opened with my former spouse, wound up closing.  When Havilah’s Boutique closed down and eventually went bankrupt that set off an additional whirlwind of loss.  Much of what I didn’t lose in the divorce—I sold to pay down the staggering business debt that was all I had left of that business.   I had no retirement, no savings, no home and no plan--but I did have hope.  Although I felt like that caricature of the middle aged divorced guy living with his 75 year old mother, I had that small hope that God would still work this out for good in my life because he loves me.  The feeling of hope started small and started building the more that I poured out my heart to God.  The more I pursued God’s heart the more I would see his fingerprints on my life in so many profound ways.  Now, almost 2 years down the road, I have seen such restoration in my life.  I still sometimes sit in stunned amazement at all of the blessings that God has brought into my life.  All the things that I lost have been restored multiple times over.  I married a woman that is truly a gift from God.  I have two stepsons that I adore and it seems like in so many ways God is continuing to lavish me with his love and affection.  For those of you going through the pain of broken relationships right now—don’t lose hope.  If you seek God in the hard places he definitely has the ability to restore relationships that have been broken.  I have heard multiple stories from Christians whose marriages have been restored stronger than ever, even after situations where it seemed like those relationships were over.  I know people who have seen reconciliation with their kids, parents, spouse when they sought after God in the midst of hardship.  Even if your marriage can’t be saved however —God still has a plan for you.  Your heavenly father has this unique ability to bring good things out of even the most traumatic situation.  I'm a shining example of how God can take someones life where circumstances appear hopeless and still rewrite the script and add a happy ending.  I am so thankful that I am learning to be able to trust God's character regardless of how I feel or what I see.  I am also thankful that I have truly learned, in the deepest parts of my heart, that our heavenly father is faithful and he loves his children profoundly.   

Romans 5:5  "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Psalm 27:4-5 "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock."

Believing without seeing

At different points in my life I’ve been in situations where I encountered things that (at the time) felt completely overwhelming.  Looking back it seems like those situations helped me to begin to comprehend the faithfulness of God.  Many times in the past--people, looking at me from the outside, would assume I had everything together.   Although I legitimately loved God and trusted he would arise and help other people—subconsciously I always expected him to reject or abandon me in the hard times.  Crisis often shook me to the core because it revealed the doubt, pride, lack of faith and fear of rejection that was always there lurking beneath the surface.  When I would encounter hardship I used to panic and spend copious amounts of time in prayer.  I almost felt like if I prayed “hard enough” God might hear me and help.  I was living my spiritual life like a peasant begging for God's notice--unaware that I was one of his beloved children and already had his full attention.  Once my prayers were answered, I would relax again and feel peaceful.  That wasn't because of any legitimate trust in God however, but simply because my circumstances changed.  But is God only good when he gives us things?  Is he only faithful when he answers our prayers the way we want him to?  A few years ago that pattern changed. God was faithful enough to allow the circumstances to come about so that he could address the fear, pain, brokenness and pride that was buried deep in my heart.   At the time God definitely didn’t seem to answer my prayers and my circumstances were unbearable.  In that dark place, however, is where he spoke to my heart and I finally began to understand his profound love for me.  It took losing everything (or so I thought) for me to finally understand in the deepest places-- my heavenly fathers enormous love for me.  You see, once you can praise and trust God even when things are falling apart--then you can be certain you have a firm faith.  Otherwise, your hope is always at the mercy of your circumstances.  A.W. Tozer once said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”

John 20:29 - "Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

God loves broken things

 

I read this post and I had to share it. It is a very powerful reminder about our Heavenly Father. Even more powerful for me is the fact that it was written by my oldest son, Israel.

 

 "God loves taking the broken things inside of us and turning them into a beautiful tapestry for His glory. Don't be afraid of your past or your brokenness--Jesus is excited to show you His love while He walks you through the process of healing your heart."  #mythoughtstonight

Walking in Authenticity

What the world needs is authentic Christians that walk in a humble, transparent dependence on God. In the past i have had well intentioned Christians try to tell me that we need to only verbalize our victories and  not speak about our failures and pain.  I have been told that we need to "positively confess" what we want to see going on in our lives--and not the reality (if that reality is painful).  I understand the belief in positive confession but anyone reading the Psalms can see the struggles, doubts, sadness and questioning that David went through in walking out his relationship with God.  Yet, in the midst of hardship and grief he didn't pretend that everything was OK.  Instead he verbalized his trust in God despite his circumstances. How can those around us going through hardship feel like they can even relate to Christians (and subsequently Christianity) when every Christian they meet is working so hard to keep the mask on? Personally I've been through joyful times but I've also been through suffering and pain in life. Throughout everything though my loving Heavenly Father held me securely in the palm of his hand. We need more believers to be bold enough when facing hardship to say "my life is a mess, I'm broken and grieving--yet despite what I see, I chose to trust God knowing that he loves me and is faithful."  Being a Christian doesn't mean that we will never face trauma or pain. It simply means that we have hope in the fact that God loves us, He will never leave us, and He will bring blessing out of the adversity.  If we aren't transparent with our struggles--we will never be relatable to a lost and hurting world

Walking by faith

So many times when things get intense we have a tendency of blaming God. We blame him for our bad decision, we blame him when others are cruel to us, we even blame him for the simplest pains of life. Our fear of rejection and past wounded ness cause us to cry out in judgment and attempt to indict God's character based on our circumstances. But our heavenly father loves us. Regardless of how you "feel", he loves you dearly. Even if you don't believe he exists, he still loves you and earnestly desires for you to know him. Instead of blaming God in the future --when things appear to be falling apart, turn to him with your pain and your sorrow. Cast your cares on him because he cares for you.  Trust that God is good and trust in his character regardless of your external circumstances.  And remember our loving heavenly father has unique ability to take the hardest of life's circumstances and bring healing, hope and restoration.

"With the comfort we ourselves received from God."

A little over two years ago I went up for prayer after a New Years Eve service at my church (Indy Vineyard).  At the time I felt like my life was spiraling out of control.  My marriage was failing and not only was I dealing with a pending divorce that I desperately didn’t want—but I was also dealing with the financial trauma of a failing business (Havilah's Boutique).  It was hard for me to be hopeful in the midst of all of the pain. loss and rejection that I was feeling.   That evening--the pain was so overwhelming that I almost sprung out of my seat at the end of the service when my Pastor, Randy Gooder, asked anyone needing prayer to come forward.  When I went forward and told the 2 prayer team members about my pending divorce and why I wanted prayer, they were so comforting.  The prayer team members, a married couple, let me know that they had almost gotten divorced themselves a few years prior before God healed their marriage.  I wept as they prayed that God would give me peace and show me his presence.  Walking away from church that evening, I felt God’s hand on my life.  However, I also felt like I was heard, cared for and encouraged by the prayer team members.  It wasn’t long until I volunteered to be on my churches prayer ministry team myself.  Less than a year after I began volunteering as a prayer team member, I had a young woman come up front and ask for prayer about her own pending divorce.  Her husband had left her for another woman and she was feeling both scared and abandoned.  It was awesome to be able to share with her about God faithfully meeting me in that same place.  I and another prayer team member prayed that God would make himself known to her in the midst of her pain.  That God would give her the peace of knowing that He was holding her and her children safely in the palm of His hand.  I also reminded her that regardless of how she felt at present, her heavenly father loved her profoundly.  As we were praying for the young woman --I could tell that God was really touching her heart that day.  It was so reassuring to know that God can still use us in our own brokenness to touch others with his love and mercy.  Like it says in 2 Cor. 1:3-5, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”

New Years Eve Facebook Post

Happy New Year's to all my Facebook friends. When I look back over all the transition I've gone through over the past year I'm so grateful for where I'm currently at. Last year on New Year's Eve it was hard for me to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Everything around me seemed dark and cold. when I tried to project myself into the future all I could see was more loss and pain. God was faithful to meet me in that place however. He showed himself so faithful to me and let me know in so many ways that he "saw me" and that he held me securely in his loving arms.  Now, a year later--as I look at where I'm at currently I'm so grateful. God has brought old friends back into my life and some wonderful new ones as well. He has started the restoration process in my life. I have a new home and I'm so excited about all the new adventures that God has for me in the future. I'm so glad that I serve a God that has compassion on his children when they're hurting and always hears their prayers. I'm also thankful that I go to a wonderful church with an awesome pastoral staff. Lastly I'm thankful for my family and that God has blessed me with an amazing mother, sister and some absolutely wonderful kids--all of whom I'm very proud of and love dearly. 

 

 

Psalms 23:4 "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

Brian's thought for the day

Who do you choose to put your trust in when things are hard and when nothing seems to make sense? Who do you lean into when facing loss or hardship? When it seems like everything in your life has been uprooted their is still somebody that you can depend on. Your heavenly father loves you and wants you to rest in him even when the storms of life seem out of control. The more you seek him the more clearly you will be able to see his heart for you. The more you look to him--the more you will be able to be at peace even when circumstances seem overwhelming.  - Brian


"Come to me, all you were weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28–30

Lonely but never alone.

    Over the last eight months life has changed for me quite a bit. Even something as simple as "dating" has been a learning experience as the last "first date" I had was as a 17 year old. One thing I have learned about myself over the last eight months is that I really don't like being single.  I remember hearing a sermon in the past about the "gift" of singleness.  Now I know that some people are called to live a life of singleness serving Christ and I have tremendous respect for those men and women.  I however am not wired that way.  I remember thinking when I heard that sermon about the gift of singleness, that I would return that gift immediately upon receipt (lol).  That “gift” in my opinion would almost be like receiving the "gift of an IRS tax audit" or the "gift of a receding hairline."  Back then I never thought I would have to experience being single again.  Yet here I am, a single guy, at the age of 48.  Rather unexpectedly I lost my identity as a husband and a provider.   Due to that experience it has been a real process walking through some pretty large foundational changes in both my life and how I view myself.    
    An analogy I would use to illustrate the trauma of losing your spouse--would be to sustain a severe battlefield injury.  Being a Soldier I have had the opportunity to speak to veterans that have been severely injured in combat.  The trauma of divorce to me is like losing your right arm (to the shoulder) in combat.  After losing a limb, I have been told, that often you can still feel your fingers tingling even though your arm is gone.  That phenomenon is called "phantom limb pain" and it's medically documented.  Also people that lose limbs in combat, for quite awhile, forget that the limb is even gone.  It takes awhile before they stop subconsciously attempting to reach out and pick up something with the arm that is no longer there.  
    With divorce (or any loss of a spouse or a child) you may experience similar symptoms.  You might wake up in the morning forgetting that your life has changed.  Whereas you previously had someone to talk to when you got home from work--you now come home to overwhelming silence.  Whereas you previously had someone to sit beside at church--you now find yourself sitting alone.  You even find yourself attending Bible studies, movies or even going to restaurants by yourself.  Something as simple as shopping for groceries can even be painful.  While navigating the aisles near the floral display--that’s when it might hit you that you no longer have anyone to buy flowers for.  
    Regardless of what loss you are experiencing now, remember that although at times you might feel lonely--you are never alone because you have a heavenly father that loves you profoundly. Most importantly, God wants to meet you in that place of loneliness and longing.  Below are a few verses that had been encouraging to me as I walked through the trauma of divorce.

　
　

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
　

Psalm 68:5-7, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”

Romans 8:35-39 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

dropping the masks that we wear

   

Last week a woman had visited my retail store (Soundsational Car Audio) to purchase a stereo for her son’s car. While having her son’s car worked on--she started opening up with me about her life.  While talking, somehow we got onto the topic of Christianity (although I'm sure anybody that knows me wouldn't be surprised by that).  After talking for a while she told me that she had been a long time member of a large church in the area but that she had recently stopped attending. Although she had been a very active member of her women's bible study group for over 10 years, she confided in me that she just couldn't play the game any longer.  She said “if the women in my bible study knew how I really felt or how much of a mess my life was, they would be shocked."  I was saddened by the fact that this woman had been attending this bible study for years yet never felt comfortable opening up with anyone about what was going on in her life.  I then went on and assured her that if she knew what was really going on behind the scenes in many of those women's lives she would also be surprised.

      Why do we hide behind masks in the Church?  The Church should be the one place where it’s safe to be yourself.  Yet instead of being "real", we work hard to project an image of “having it all together” when many times we are simply broken people who have learned to hide our brokenness.  Often times we don't live "authentically" because we are afraid of being judged.  Honestly, around many church folk that's a very real concern.  My personal experience however has shown me that the people that react the most negatively to those of us who try to be transparent--are the people that are working the hardest at keeping their own masks in place.  The problem about hiding who we are inside is the fact that God already knows who we are. He created us and although he knows every flaw that we have--He still loves us dearly. God knows us and loves us profoundly.  He doesn’t want us hiding behind a façade  but instead wants us to take our pain, doubts, fears and weaknesses and lay those things down at his feet. It's God's desire that we would allow his love to transform us from the inside out--not that we simply become religious and look the part.  Change and growth can only occur when we are honest with ourselves.  Isn’t it interesting that the people that were truly honest about their own weakness and failure were the ones that Jesus was attracted to. One of my favorite Bible stories was in Luke 18:9-14, “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”       

    The best way to stop wearing the mask is to start being authentic with who you are.  When "Christ followers" start being transparent about their pain and weakness while they are in the church, often times something amazing happens.  It gives those other believers around them permission to do the same.  When we start being authentic around non-believers it allows them to not only see that you don't have to be perfect to be a Christian--it also allows them to see the difference that God's presence makes in our lives as he walks us through the hard times.  I'll be intentional right now and I'll start by being transparent about myself.  My life is a mess.  I am broken, lonely and have very few answers.  But the God I serve loves to take broken lives and turn them into something beautiful.  I’m glad I have learned the secret of not hiding my weakness. I’m also grateful that I am part of a church that values being authentic and walking in transparency.  Remember, God does not require that you come to him perfect--He just asks you to come to him. 

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

2 Cor. 12:19, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Looking at God through clear eyes.

    I had been contacted recently by friends that have been dealing with everything from the rejection of divorce or marital infidelity to loss of employment and home foreclosure.  I just want to encourage anyone going through hardship right now that your heavenly father is with you in your present situation and has good things planned for you in the future.  Even if you don’t “know” God, He knows you. He sees your adversity and earnestly desires for you to turn to him in your pain.  When we go through suffering sometimes it’s hard to see past the current trauma and understand that God has good things for us.  The reason behind this is often due to our heart believing lies about God that prevent us from accurately viewing his character.  God cares for you as his own dearly beloved child.  He is captivated with you and wants nothing but good things for you.  However we live in a fallen world among broken people (ourselves included) and sometimes pain and hardship is part of this journey.  
    A story that always troubled me in the Bible was the story of Job.  For those of you unfamiliar with Job, he was a very successful and righteous man who despite having almost everything in his life stripped away, still remained faithful to God.  He refused to blame God for his misfortune and refused to see God as anything other than a loving, righteous creator despite what was happening all around him.  I would always read that story and hope that I never had to face any of the hardship Job did.  You see, I didn’t always have a solid trust that God loved me.  I saw him as an angry but emotionally distant deity. And I firmly believed in my heart that God had much more important people to worry about than me.  In fact when things would get hard I not only failed to see God’s presence in my hardship—I would often believe that it was HE that was the cause of my pain.  The lies in my heart prevented me from clearly seeing the one who loved me more than anyone.  In the past if I would simply bounce a check at the bank--I would blame God for my NSF fees (lol). I have found while walking through some of the hardest things I have ever dealt with however, that God is always faithful and he is ever present with us especially in the painful times. He will never abandon you or turn his face away from you.  Remember, it’s God's intent to give you the desires of your heart.  But it’s his even bigger longing that you would understand his great love for you.  I have also found that although things might look dark at present—God has good things planned just around the corner.  One thing I never noticed before while reading the book of Job, was the ending of that story.  I always got stuck thinking about all the tragedy that Job went through.  In the ending of the story however is a short but powerful statement about Job that also applies to those of us "Christ followers" that are experiencing pain and loss in the present.  “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” (Job 42:12). 

“As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”  James 5:11

Seeing people through the eyes of Jesus

I look back a few years ago at how easy it was for me to judge others in their hardship.  I had been a “Christ follower” since I was age 16—and in my strength I felt pretty good about my relationship with God.  I didn’t struggle with addictions and I lived a relatively righteous life (at least by my own standards).  Although I had the “appearance” of righteousness if you would have looked a little closer you would have noticed that my empathy for others was severely lacking.  I judged people so much by their appearance back then.  I remember as an immature High School student (and a new believer) chastising one of my Christian friends for “being worldly” when he got his left ear pierced.  Culturally in the 1980’s, guys having their ears pierced was not very common.  A decade later I got the opportunity to apologize to that friend for my judgment against him years earlier.  Interestingly enough, by that time I was the one with the pierced ears (Lol).  Years ago when I was extremely successful in business I would look around at men that were going through financial trauma and it was so easy to subconciously judge them in their hardship.  That was until the failure of one of my retail stores in 1999, left me 250k in debt.  I also remember in the past finding out a close friend of mine was getting divorced—and at that time it was easy for me to question his situation.  Maybe if they worked harder at making their marriage work, they could have avoided that trauma?  I judged their situation instead of trying to have compassion on the pain and loss they must be feeling.  Things have changed a lot with my perspective on divorce as well, after I saw the disintegration of my own marriage.  It’s taken my own personal failures, brokenness and hardship to help me truly begin to fathom God’s heart towards the hurting and weak.   Isn’t it interesting that during the years of Jesus public ministry one of the things that differentiated him from the other religious leaders and teachers of his era was his deep compassion for the hurting.  He showed compassion to the prostitutes and tax collectors instead of judging them.  He didn’t need to tell them that their lives were a mess—they already knew that.  He didn’t need to tell them they were living a debased/immoral lifestyle—they were also well aware of that fact.  He showed them compassion and it changed their lives.  A former prostitute (Mary Magdalene) became a leader in the early Christian community.  A former tax collector (who in that society had the social standing of a crack cocaine dealer) became one of his disciples and closest friends.  Jesus surrounded himself with the broken, abused, uneducated and people that society had little use for.  Jesus didn’t judge or castigate them—he loved them into righteousness.  His followers didn’t “look the part” of the religious establishment.  They were a rag tag bunch of social outcasts that wound up changing the society around them because of how they were first changed by Jesus.  The people that Jesus was harsh towards were the religious people, that had the appearance of having everything together, yet had no compassion towards the broken all around them.  These were the people that Jesus called “white washed tombs" and "vipers.” Recently one of the pastors at my church, Barry, gave a sermon where he talked about hanging out regularly at a local bar for the purpose of befriending people.  He was the “undercover pastor” listening to people share their hearts at the bar while he just sat there and drank his diet coke.  Barry would sit in the background non judgmentally listening to people and waiting for opportunities to help.  That is how I feel Jesus would be spending his time if he were physically walking the streets of Indianapolis.   You would find Jesus sitting on a street corner hanging out with the homeless man --nobody else realizing that this homeless man was a former military veteran suffering from PTSD.  You would find Jesus having dinner with the member of a local motorcycle gang.  Jesus would look past the man’s hard appearance and see the scared, abandoned little boy that lives beneath the heavily tattooed exterior.  Jesus would be praying with the young anorexic girl that cuts herself to mask the pain of her sexual abuse as a child.  He would be visiting the drug addict at the local jail, NOT as a ministry project, but because he was sincerely concerned for that man and his 3 small children.  That was what differentiated Jesus from the religious leaders around him—and that compassion is what should differentiate his followers as well.  Not simply how they look or dress, what their political beliefs are, how much scripture they can quote or how large of a Bible that they carry.  Like the scriptures say, “it’s the kindness of God that leads to repentance.”           

 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” – 1 John 4:12

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” - Augustine

Broken People for His Purposes

 Over the last few years I have been really encouraged as I've seen substantial growth in my walk with Jesus. Even though I have gone through some pretty tremendous trauma I have been excited about the fruit that it has borne in my life and was beginning to feel like in some sense I had almost “arrived” spiritually (whatever that means?) That was until this weekend. It became very clear to me that I have yet another “glaring” blind spot in my walk with Jesus that I never noticed or chose to acknowledge. It’s always easy to feel good about ourselves when our measuring stick of “righteousness” is either ourselves in the past or others around us. Lately I had been contrasting where I am at currently with where I was at just a few years ago—and was feeling pretty contented. But along came this weekend. 

   While on a long road trip this past Saturday, God showed me my “righteousness” compared to His son’ and it became readily apparent to me that although I had started to feel like I was well down the path on my journey toward being “Christ-like”-- in reality I had barely left the starting line. Initially I felt overwhelming sadness and self-condemnation at how far I am from being who I desire to be (and whom I desire to follow). Here I am again—brutally made aware of my own weakness and lack. I’m a middle aged man that had wasted so many years unaware of how shut down I was. Here I am, again seeing more issues in my own heart that I had previously refused to look at. While pondering these revelations, I was reminded of a certain Passover (Pesach) tradition. Coming from a Jewish ancestry this holiday was always special for me as a teenager. This was also obviously an important holiday for Jesus as well, as He was celebrating Passover with his friends (the disciples) the night before his crucifixion. In fact, the “Last Supper” was actually a Passover “Seder” where we celebrate the release of the Hebrew nation from their captivity in Egypt. In the same way that the Hebrews ate unleavened bread (Matza) in their haste to leave Egypt—so modern observant Jewish families avoid leaven (yeast) during the Passover holiday. There is a certain part of Passover preparation called the “Bedikat Chametz” that came to my mind. After disposing of all leavened bread, rolls, buns, etc. in the household—the Bedikat Chametz is the ceremonial practice of searching for and disposing of any hidden “leaven” (yeast) that might still be remaining in the house. Speaking of this Passover tradition, In 1 Corinthians 5:6-8 it says, “Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”

   I almost wondered if my sudden “revelation of my brokenness and sin was kind of like God’s “Bedikat Chametz” of my heart. I feel that God brought those things up because they are places deep down that He wanted to address so that I can walk in complete freedom. They are also areas in my life that Christ died to forgive. God simply gave me a clear picture of the things that Christ had already borne for me on the cross. On that drive home this past Saturday when my own brokenness and selfishness became clear to me, I almost wondered if God could ever use my life in any capacity? But God revels in using broken things (and broken people) for His purposes. Although really discouraging at the time, I am now grateful that God revealed to me more areas in my life that could potentially interfere with my ability to hear His voice in my life clearly. I am also happy that He helped me acknowledge the things that I was shown. I am now praying that God will continue to expose all those remaining hidden things in my life as well as those wounded areas of my heart that still need to be addressed. But I also asked Him to be gentle about it.

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"