Thankful on Thanksgiving 2016

  

  As I sit here celebrating Thanksgiving  with my family, I think of the numerous things I have to be thankful for this year.  It wasn't that long ago, however, that I vividly remember a Thanksgiving when I struggled to find anything to be thankful for.  At that time in my life I had just found out that my previous marriage of 25 years was over and the rejection that came with that realization was overwhelming.  Additionally, my finances were a shamble and I was forced into moving in with my mom as I had nowhere else to go.  Our family business (Havilah's Boutique) was on the verge of bankruptcy, our beautiful home in Fishers was in the process of foreclosure and I seemed to be surrounded by nothing but loss.  My time was divided between attempting to negotiate with debt collectors, working three jobs, and mourning the loss of my family.   I felt like a complete failure in life and I had very little hope that things would get better.  Honestly, If there was ever a time in my life that I wanted to just give up on life—it was then. 
    That thanksgiving I made a conscious decision, however, to be thankful despite all the trauma around me.  I started listing off all the things that I could be thankful for.  At that time my list was pretty short:  I was thankful that I had all my teeth, I was thankful that I did a great Sylvester Stallone imitation, that I had a functional vehicle (my high mileage 1998 Dodge Grand caravan that burned oil and smoked heavily when it was running).    One thing on my list that stood out however was I was thankful that God was good and I knew that my heavenly father loved me.  Although I didn’t feel very loved at that time, and I didn't see much evidence of that fact, nevertheless I held on to that hope.  I really was thankful that God loved me and I decided to intentionally place my trust in him because I had no one else to turn to.  

    It’s four years later now and life is so much different.  I feel like God has restored everything I lost plus even more.  I now have a wonderful/loving wife (Heather) whom I adore and who makes life fun.  She's beautiful both inside and out and challenges me in my relationship with God, daily.  I'm so thankful for Heather and so glad for the great relationship she has with all my kids.  She is such a great partner on this journey.  I'm thankful that my children are all doing wonderfully and I’m so proud of them all.  I'm thankful that my oldest son, Izzy, just announced his engagement to his lovely fiancée (Kellie) whom I’m honored to have as my future daughter in law.  I'm thankful for my two step sons, Ryan and Lucas.  They are both awesome kids whom I now have the privilege of helping mentor and develop into the men that God has called them to be.  I'm thankful for the Ferguson clan (The family I married into.)  My father and mother in law are both former missionaries who made me immediately feel like part of their family.  Claude (my father in law) is a former Marine with a great sense of humor and in a relatively short time we’ve become great friends.  His wife, Jan, is one of the sweetest Christian women I've ever met and she has this gift for making everyone feel welcome.  I'm thankful for Heather's siblings.  The first time we all got together I just felt like we fit together so well and I’m so grateful for all of the cool brother and sister's in law and awesome nieces and nephews that I now have in my extended family.  Even financially it seems like I’ve experienced complete restoration.  Both of our businesses (Soundsational and my job as a real estate broker for FC Tucker) have been doing exceptionally well and I’m thankful for the abundant blessings I see all around me.  Most importantly however I’m thankful that I know in the deepest part of my heart that God is good,  he loves us profoundly, and he is always with us despite whatever life circumstances we might face.  Feeling exceedingly grateful this thanksgiving season.     

(Psalm 28:6-7)  “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” 

(Psalm 30:1-12)  “I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. . . . You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” 

God is faithful.

I have been through almost overwhelming hardship and I've been through periods of tremendous blessing.  I can tell you that the good times were always more fun.  Regardless of what was going on however, God was always faithful to me despite any outside circumstances.  My thought for the day.

Grateful!

Sitting at vineyard (church) today with my beautiful wife and two stepsons while watching my oldest son lead worship. The thought occurred to me while I was worshipping--that our Heavenly Father is amazing!! How incredible is God that he can take our brokenness and pain and bring about such beauty and joy. I'm so grateful that I serve a God who's heart is "to comfort those who mourn and provide for those who grieve." Feeling very grateful.

A crown of beauty instead of ashes

Over the last 2 years I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life.  Much of it, I didn’t desire at the time.  When I was served with divorce papers after being married for 25 years—I initially felt like a 2,000 lb boulder just landed on my chest.  When the additional realization hit that I was also facing the failure of our family business (Havilah’s Boutique) and the loss of my home and financial security I felt like my life was over.  It felt like my best days were long behind me.  The combination of shock, sadness and rejection was overwhelming.  Yet, I made the conscious decision to trust in Gods’ goodness.  Although I didn’t understand the hardship around me—I did understand and believe that God loved me and held me safely in the palm of his hand.  Sometimes when it appears like you’ve lost everything—you discover that Christ is all you need.  Over the last 2 years I’ve seen God’s hand at work in my life in so many ways.  I’ve seen him faithfully working in my children’s lives as they’ve walked through this hard season as well.  I’ve seen my relationship with my children grow stronger than it’s ever been.  I’ve seen Gods provision in allowing me to purchase a new car (as my older car was breaking down) and move into a home even though my credit was damaged severely.  Last year I saw God bring a beautiful woman and her 2 sons into my life.  The more we got to know each other it became apparent we both seemed to be on the same frequency --as she had also learned to depend on God as she went through her own journey through loss and pain.  She (Heather) had also lost her spouse, although not through divorce but through a fatal traffic accident.  As many of you know, Heather and I got engaged a few weeks back.  I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with this lovely woman and her amazing sons.  I dearly love them and I fully believe God has brought us together.  Now, instead of feeling my best days are behind me--instead I’m looking forward to the all the neat adventures that God has in store for us in the future.  If you are currently going through hardship and trauma—pour out your grief before God.  He loves you and wants to take the hardship and pain in your life and create something beautiful out of it.  In the book of Isaiah it says that it’s God’s desire to comfort those of us that mourn and to bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.  Im so grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers, comforts us in our pain and dearly loves his children.     

 

Isaiah 61:1-3

 “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

"With the comfort we ourselves received from God."

A little over two years ago I went up for prayer after a New Years Eve service at my church (Indy Vineyard).  At the time I felt like my life was spiraling out of control.  My marriage was failing and not only was I dealing with a pending divorce that I desperately didn’t want—but I was also dealing with the financial trauma of a failing business (Havilah's Boutique).  It was hard for me to be hopeful in the midst of all of the pain. loss and rejection that I was feeling.   That evening--the pain was so overwhelming that I almost sprung out of my seat at the end of the service when my Pastor, Randy Gooder, asked anyone needing prayer to come forward.  When I went forward and told the 2 prayer team members about my pending divorce and why I wanted prayer, they were so comforting.  The prayer team members, a married couple, let me know that they had almost gotten divorced themselves a few years prior before God healed their marriage.  I wept as they prayed that God would give me peace and show me his presence.  Walking away from church that evening, I felt God’s hand on my life.  However, I also felt like I was heard, cared for and encouraged by the prayer team members.  It wasn’t long until I volunteered to be on my churches prayer ministry team myself.  Less than a year after I began volunteering as a prayer team member, I had a young woman come up front and ask for prayer about her own pending divorce.  Her husband had left her for another woman and she was feeling both scared and abandoned.  It was awesome to be able to share with her about God faithfully meeting me in that same place.  I and another prayer team member prayed that God would make himself known to her in the midst of her pain.  That God would give her the peace of knowing that He was holding her and her children safely in the palm of His hand.  I also reminded her that regardless of how she felt at present, her heavenly father loved her profoundly.  As we were praying for the young woman --I could tell that God was really touching her heart that day.  It was so reassuring to know that God can still use us in our own brokenness to touch others with his love and mercy.  Like it says in 2 Cor. 1:3-5, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”

Looking at God through clear eyes.

    I had been contacted recently by friends that have been dealing with everything from the rejection of divorce or marital infidelity to loss of employment and home foreclosure.  I just want to encourage anyone going through hardship right now that your heavenly father is with you in your present situation and has good things planned for you in the future.  Even if you don’t “know” God, He knows you. He sees your adversity and earnestly desires for you to turn to him in your pain.  When we go through suffering sometimes it’s hard to see past the current trauma and understand that God has good things for us.  The reason behind this is often due to our heart believing lies about God that prevent us from accurately viewing his character.  God cares for you as his own dearly beloved child.  He is captivated with you and wants nothing but good things for you.  However we live in a fallen world among broken people (ourselves included) and sometimes pain and hardship is part of this journey.  
    A story that always troubled me in the Bible was the story of Job.  For those of you unfamiliar with Job, he was a very successful and righteous man who despite having almost everything in his life stripped away, still remained faithful to God.  He refused to blame God for his misfortune and refused to see God as anything other than a loving, righteous creator despite what was happening all around him.  I would always read that story and hope that I never had to face any of the hardship Job did.  You see, I didn’t always have a solid trust that God loved me.  I saw him as an angry but emotionally distant deity. And I firmly believed in my heart that God had much more important people to worry about than me.  In fact when things would get hard I not only failed to see God’s presence in my hardship—I would often believe that it was HE that was the cause of my pain.  The lies in my heart prevented me from clearly seeing the one who loved me more than anyone.  In the past if I would simply bounce a check at the bank--I would blame God for my NSF fees (lol). I have found while walking through some of the hardest things I have ever dealt with however, that God is always faithful and he is ever present with us especially in the painful times. He will never abandon you or turn his face away from you.  Remember, it’s God's intent to give you the desires of your heart.  But it’s his even bigger longing that you would understand his great love for you.  I have also found that although things might look dark at present—God has good things planned just around the corner.  One thing I never noticed before while reading the book of Job, was the ending of that story.  I always got stuck thinking about all the tragedy that Job went through.  In the ending of the story however is a short but powerful statement about Job that also applies to those of us "Christ followers" that are experiencing pain and loss in the present.  “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” (Job 42:12). 

“As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”  James 5:11

PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM

    I was reading some scripture today about “fear” and had realized one big thing that has changed with my way of reacting to hardship. The scripture I was reading was in I John 4:18-19, where it says; “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

 I have posted previously about walking through some pretty severe financial trauma 13 plus years ago when one of my businesses failed. With that failure two things happened: First, I found myself on the verge of bankruptcy and unemployment and was facing the loss of everything that I owned. Conversely though, I had the opportunity to see God's provision for me on multiple occasions. In those hard times where I couldn't financially support myself or my family—I saw God’s daily provision. Through being in a place of complete dependence, I had the opportunity to see God’s hand at work is some pretty significant ways. I shared one story of God’s miraculous provision in receiving a Christmas present (a bike) for my then 10 year old son, Izzy. What I didn't mention however, was the fact that although there had been multiple times during that period where God provided for me and my family in miraculous ways, I still would go into a panic every time I faced the prospect of suffering.

   Something as simple as the threat from a creditor or a bounced check could quickly send my “peace” flying out the window. Although I consistently saw God’s faithfulness, I was always waiting for the day when He would abandoned me. I miss interpreted hardship as either a sign of God’s lack of concern for me, or as the punishment levied by a rigid, demanding parent. Over that time of approximately 8 years, God worked hard to disprove my presuppositions. He provided for me daily which allowed us to stay in our large home (even though I still don’t know how we avoided foreclosure?) He provided a car for me, allowed my young children to continue to attend their private Christian school for a few more years. I even went back to college during that time and finished up my Bachelor’s degree (as my G.I.Bill benefits allowed me to make money while in college). Although I saw all these cool ways God was showing me His involvement and concern for me. Yet, I still had to be dragged through that process of “learning to depend on God”, while kicking and screaming all of the way! One difference I see now with my reactions is that the fear I always used to feel is pretty much gone. Although my circumstances at present are pretty similar to what they were 13 years ago (with some additional family trauma thrown in), I am experiencing more peace than I ever did before. 

   Somewhere along this process of walking all this stuff out, something had gotten “rewired” in my heart. Over the last 16 months I feel like I’m finally beginning to have peace in the midst of the storms of life. I think the biggest difference is that I finally am beginning to understand God’s heart towards me. As it said in the scripture I had been reading today; “The one who fears is not made perfect in love”. As we begin to fathom the depth of our heavenly Father’s love for us—fear starts to fade into the distance. Also, as we allow God to show us His provision in the midst of suffering, (instead of trying to avoid hardship) we start to learn to trust in God.

   In 1 Samuel there is a story that I absolutely love. In this story there was a “giant” Philistine warrior named Goliath that had challenged anyone from the Armies of Israel to face him alone in a battle to the death. By written account, this “giant” was a guy that struck fear in the hearts of the soldiers of Israel. Imagine a steroid abusing (WWE) professional wrestler only MUCH bigger with lots of armor and some intimidating weaponry --and this is what I assume that Goliath looked like. The Israelite's were terrified both of this guy and the armies of the Philistines that he came from. No one in Israel wanted to face this giant, until one day a young teenager named David heard the giant’s taunts and was indignant. You see, David wasn't even a soldier (in fact he was a simple shepherd), yet he had seen God’s faithfulness in the past and he had no fear of this giant warrior. David had seen God protect him from both a lion and a bear while tending his flocks, and knew God was with him. It wasn't that he was oblivious to how intimidating Goliath was. David was simply aware of how much BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL God was. David went to the king of Israel volunteering to face this enemy of his people. He told his bemused king, “Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you." (1 Sam 17:36-37) David, full of faith, went on to slay Goliath. When the on looking Philistine Army saw David behead Goliath they ran away in fear. I love that story! Just like David, when we look for God’s hand in our past hardships--it’s easier to trust Him with our current sufferings. Just a few weeks ago, one of my facebook friends (Mike Day) went in for surgery to remove a fairly large brain tumor. Mike was facing a pretty severe surgery with a lot of substantial risks involved. It would be natural to be afraid of all of the possible ramifications that his doctors were preparing him for. In the weeks prior to the surgery, Mike had been having seizures and had lost almost all use of his left arm. It was amazing however, that when I went in to pray with him before his surgery, he had a sincere peace about the surgery. He was so peaceful that I almost asked HIM to pray for ME that day. I’m sure that Mike’s peace was also birthed through seeing God faithfully walk him through multiple hardships in the past. I’m so thankful at this point in my life that God has allowed me to learn to trust him in the hard times instead of allowing me to escape from suffering. I’m also grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers and cares for us as his dearly beloved children.

Psalm 28:6-7 “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

PERFECT GOD GIVES PERFECT GIFTS

God is good! I had to share a story that happened to me recently. I had gone to Nordstrom Rack to look for a pair of cheap blue jeans. For those of you unfamiliar with Nordstrom’s Rack—it is the liquidation store for Nordstrom’s (which is a store that sells really nice clothing). I had a very limited budget for jeans and I was hoping that they had something within my limited price range. While at the store I noticed a really sharp looking black suit, which was my exact size, on the clearance rack. Although it was $500.00, (definitely WAY over my current financial limitations) I still tried it on to see how it looked. The suit looked awesome! I felt like a GQ model wearing this thing. While admiring this suit in a mirror; I noticed a red tag on the sleeve that read 80% off. "Wow!" I thought, I could get this thing for $100.00 plus $35.00 tailoring. I've never owned a really nice suit before. At my business I normally dress extremely casual. I went ahead and decided to get the suit. I had the pants measured and pinned up for tailoring and took the ticket to the front counter to pay my anticipated $135 plus bill. When I got to the counter the lady scanned the tag and said, “Oh no, this isn't right?” I knew it, 80% off had to be a 'miss-mark'? Has to be too good to be true? She then went on to say that there was an extra 10% discount on this suit (90% off). Additionally she told me that my $35.00 tailoring was "free" since I had a Nordstrom card. How cool!! This $500.00 suit custom tailored and I spent $49.00 for it. I just picked it back up from tailoring the other day. Don’t know exactly when I’ll wear this it but when I do I know I’ll be looking sharp in my $49.00 Nordstrom suit. God is good and I firmly believe that He even cares about the small insignificant things in our lives like the joy I felt being able to get a new suit for $49.00 

Matthew 7:7-11

"Keep on asking and it will be given you;  keep on seeking and you will find; ^[c]keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.

⁸ For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.

⁹ Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?

¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?

¹¹ If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"

God’s Provision & The Bike

     God’s Provision & The Bike

    About 12 years ago my family and I found ourselves in tremendous financial trauma. The East side car audio store that I owned wound up failing (due to both internal theft and economic downturn) and we wound up almost 250k in debt. I had no reasonable ability to pay off our debts—but I was trying to hold onto my faith in God’s love and provision in the midst of tremendous adversity. It was during this time period that my son, Izzy, (at that time 9 years old) came to me with excitement after seeing a “dual suspension” mountain bike at Wal-Mart that he wanted. That year Izzy had grown 5 inches and the previous “kids” bike he had was so small for him that he was unable to even peddle without his knees hitting the handlebars. He wanted to go bike riding with his neighborhood friends but was unable to go out with them as his growing frame could no longer fit. "Dad," he exclaimed with excitement, “The bike I want is ONLY $150.00!” But I didn't have enough money that year to afford Christmas “cards” for my kids, let alone a $150.00 bicycle! I went into that Christmas season feeling like a complete failure. Like many men, at that time I derived my identity out of my job and my role as the provider for my family. That was a role that I felt I was failing miserably at. My son really wanted/needed that bike. It was a valid request that I was unable to provide for him. How could I purchase a bike when I was 60 days late on my mortgage and my family was facing the fear of foreclosure? I went into my room and poured my heart out to God that night. I vented, cried, yelled and told Him how I powerless I felt. I asked Him why all this was happening to me and where was He in the midst of all of this pain?

   A few weeks later I was sitting at my one remaining retail store hoping to sell something that season. I had shelves of dusty electronics that I wanted to sell but was severely lacking in customers. Late one afternoon a gentleman walked in and asked to speak to the owner of Soundsational. I told him I was the owner (expecting that he was either a salesman or a bill collector of some sort) and he introduced himself. He told me that his name was Larry B. and  that he had purchased an alarm from us a few months prior for his company van and loved the quality of the workmanship at my store. He then told me that he wanted to buy a larger audio/video/security system for his wife’s minivan as a Christmas present. Larry wanted to know if I would consider “bartering” for a stereo system? He told me that he was sales representative for Raleigh bicycles and wanted to know if I would ever consider trading car audio equipment for bikes? My mouth dropped when he told me this. I knew that this was not a coincidence! Larry probably didn't understand at the time why I started wiping tears from my eyes--but my realization of God's provision and love for me was overwhelming. I wound up doing a large audio system in Larry’s wife’s van that Christmas. That year I didn't get my son that $150.00 Wal-Mart bike, instead, I got Izzy a $650.00 Univega dual suspension bike. I got both my daughters new Raleigh bikes; I got a bike for me and my wife (at the time) as well. Even though I didn't have the ability or resources to take care of myself or my family—my Heavenly Father had MORE than enough resources to take care of all of us.

Matthew 7:9-11 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Daneille Snowden [Blog Editor]: Brian and I are friends from our high school youth group and had recently reconnected on facebook. Also, I was there when he first accepted Christ in 1982 at a Keith Green concert. I have been following his Facebook posts on his journey back into intimacy with God and offered to share them on a blog.