The "lie" of hopelessness and despair.

 

I recently got a late night phone call from an old high school friend that wanted to talk.  One of his friends from childhood had recently committed suicide and he was trying to make sense of it all.  We both wondered what kind of deep issue was his friend dealing with that made him feel so hopeless that he decided suicide was the best way to end the pain?  We were on the phone for quite a while that evening, with me doing a lot of listening.  The thought struck me as we were talking, how many people going through hardship get to that point of complete hopelessness and despair?  I know there have been a few times in the recent past where I was close to feeling hopeless.  Just a few short years ago my life had been torn down to the studs and I felt completely overwhelmed as everything around me seemed to be spiraling out of control.  It was in that place however that I cried out to God.  And God met me in my sorrow and hardship and made His presence tangibly known in so many little ways.  Seeing his fingerprint in my life in even small ways gave me hope.  Even in the hardest times I learned that God was good and even though I was powerless in my situation—he wasn’t.  Looking back on that time I  am so grateful for all the tremendous blessings in my life currently.  I feel like God has completely restored all the things I had lost.  I am thankful that I finally learned the secret that no matter what hardship I am facing, God loves me and holds me safely in the palm of his hands.  If you are going through hardship and trauma in your life right now and are feeling overwhelmed—just know that God is not unaware of your situation.  Whether you are going through divorce, the death of a spouse or child, loss of a job, a terminal cancer diagnosis, or any other hardship--God loves you and he hasn't forgotten your pain.  The scriptures say that "nothing can ever separate us from God's love".  Your heavenly father wants you to cry out to him and let HIM be your comforter. He wants you to lean on his strong shoulders and know that he has everything under control if you will just turn to him and trust him.  Below are a couple of scriptures that gave me hope in the hard times.

Psalm 27:13 “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.”


Romans 8:35-39 "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.   And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
 

1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Grateful!

Sitting at vineyard (church) today with my beautiful wife and two stepsons while watching my oldest son lead worship. The thought occurred to me while I was worshipping--that our Heavenly Father is amazing!! How incredible is God that he can take our brokenness and pain and bring about such beauty and joy. I'm so grateful that I serve a God who's heart is "to comfort those who mourn and provide for those who grieve." Feeling very grateful.

Don't lose Hope.

I talked to a young woman the other day whose husband of 14 years had recently decided to leave her.  He had informed her that he had fallen in love with someone else.  She was feeling completely overwhelmed as she has two children who are also struggling with the feelings of rejection, abandonment and fear that come with separation or divorce.  All I could do was encourage her that God was not unaware of her circumstances.  I told her that God loved her and wanted to comfort her and her kids in this dark place.  I encouraged her that God held her safely in the palms of his hands. 

   Sometimes people just need to be reminded that God sees their hardship and cares for them.  I remember when I first realized that my previous marriage was not going to survive.  I was overcome with heartbreak, powerlessness and hopelessness.  My life was unravelling, and I had no control over my circumstances.  All I could do was hold on tightly to God through the hard times as I felt like He was my only hope.   As it turns out that was exactly what I needed.  It wasn't just an act of desperation, but it was the one thing I did that helped the most.  I am so thankful that I had faithful Christian friends (Bob, Mike, Steve, Nancy, Ward) that God brought alongside me to encourage me and pray for me when life seemed to be so bleak.  In my case, things turned out far different than I expected.  Although I never expected to be divorced after 25 years of marriage—those were my circumstances.  To compound that, the small business I had opened with my former spouse, wound up closing.  When Havilah’s Boutique closed down and eventually went bankrupt that set off an additional whirlwind of loss.  Much of what I didn’t lose in the divorce—I sold to pay down the staggering business debt that was all I had left of that business.   I had no retirement, no savings, no home and no plan--but I did have hope.  Although I felt like that caricature of the middle aged divorced guy living with his 75 year old mother, I had that small hope that God would still work this out for good in my life because he loves me.  The feeling of hope started small and started building the more that I poured out my heart to God.  The more I pursued God’s heart the more I would see his fingerprints on my life in so many profound ways.  Now, almost 2 years down the road, I have seen such restoration in my life.  I still sometimes sit in stunned amazement at all of the blessings that God has brought into my life.  All the things that I lost have been restored multiple times over.  I married a woman that is truly a gift from God.  I have two stepsons that I adore and it seems like in so many ways God is continuing to lavish me with his love and affection.  For those of you going through the pain of broken relationships right now—don’t lose hope.  If you seek God in the hard places he definitely has the ability to restore relationships that have been broken.  I have heard multiple stories from Christians whose marriages have been restored stronger than ever, even after situations where it seemed like those relationships were over.  I know people who have seen reconciliation with their kids, parents, spouse when they sought after God in the midst of hardship.  Even if your marriage can’t be saved however —God still has a plan for you.  Your heavenly father has this unique ability to bring good things out of even the most traumatic situation.  I'm a shining example of how God can take someones life where circumstances appear hopeless and still rewrite the script and add a happy ending.  I am so thankful that I am learning to be able to trust God's character regardless of how I feel or what I see.  I am also thankful that I have truly learned, in the deepest parts of my heart, that our heavenly father is faithful and he loves his children profoundly.   

Romans 5:5  "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Psalm 27:4-5 "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock."

Learning to trust

As I've grown older Ive just started to learn to trust God in the really hard places. For it's in those places where our faith is really tested and refined. As I look back-- the times when I felt the most lonely, rejected, fearful and abandoned are the times when God made himself known to me in the most tangible ways. During the periods in my life where things just weren't going according to "my plans", I discovered that despite my fears God had much better plans for me. If you are going through hard times right now, call out to your heavenly father. He loves you and wants to make his presence known in your life. - Brian

Walking in Authenticity

What the world needs is authentic Christians that walk in a humble, transparent dependence on God. In the past i have had well intentioned Christians try to tell me that we need to only verbalize our victories and  not speak about our failures and pain.  I have been told that we need to "positively confess" what we want to see going on in our lives--and not the reality (if that reality is painful).  I understand the belief in positive confession but anyone reading the Psalms can see the struggles, doubts, sadness and questioning that David went through in walking out his relationship with God.  Yet, in the midst of hardship and grief he didn't pretend that everything was OK.  Instead he verbalized his trust in God despite his circumstances. How can those around us going through hardship feel like they can even relate to Christians (and subsequently Christianity) when every Christian they meet is working so hard to keep the mask on? Personally I've been through joyful times but I've also been through suffering and pain in life. Throughout everything though my loving Heavenly Father held me securely in the palm of his hand. We need more believers to be bold enough when facing hardship to say "my life is a mess, I'm broken and grieving--yet despite what I see, I chose to trust God knowing that he loves me and is faithful."  Being a Christian doesn't mean that we will never face trauma or pain. It simply means that we have hope in the fact that God loves us, He will never leave us, and He will bring blessing out of the adversity.  If we aren't transparent with our struggles--we will never be relatable to a lost and hurting world

Learning to trust.

There are a whole bunch of steps leading towards spiritual maturity. One of the first is learning to fully trust God with your life. Learning to trust him when things seem bleak and it seems like there's no hope on the horizon. Learning to trust in God's goodness and his love for us-- even though we don't see immediate evidence of that playing out in our lives. One of the next steps toward spiritual maturity,which is much harder, is learning to trust God with our children. Although it's hard when we go through personal trauma, it's exponentially harder when we see our children wounded and hurting.  God is still sovereign and he is still loving however.  He loves our children more than we ever could. He loves them dearly and holds them firmly in the palm of his hand.  Being able to dwell in the peace that comes with that realization is another sign of a maturing relationship with God

"With the comfort we ourselves received from God."

A little over two years ago I went up for prayer after a New Years Eve service at my church (Indy Vineyard).  At the time I felt like my life was spiraling out of control.  My marriage was failing and not only was I dealing with a pending divorce that I desperately didn’t want—but I was also dealing with the financial trauma of a failing business (Havilah's Boutique).  It was hard for me to be hopeful in the midst of all of the pain. loss and rejection that I was feeling.   That evening--the pain was so overwhelming that I almost sprung out of my seat at the end of the service when my Pastor, Randy Gooder, asked anyone needing prayer to come forward.  When I went forward and told the 2 prayer team members about my pending divorce and why I wanted prayer, they were so comforting.  The prayer team members, a married couple, let me know that they had almost gotten divorced themselves a few years prior before God healed their marriage.  I wept as they prayed that God would give me peace and show me his presence.  Walking away from church that evening, I felt God’s hand on my life.  However, I also felt like I was heard, cared for and encouraged by the prayer team members.  It wasn’t long until I volunteered to be on my churches prayer ministry team myself.  Less than a year after I began volunteering as a prayer team member, I had a young woman come up front and ask for prayer about her own pending divorce.  Her husband had left her for another woman and she was feeling both scared and abandoned.  It was awesome to be able to share with her about God faithfully meeting me in that same place.  I and another prayer team member prayed that God would make himself known to her in the midst of her pain.  That God would give her the peace of knowing that He was holding her and her children safely in the palm of His hand.  I also reminded her that regardless of how she felt at present, her heavenly father loved her profoundly.  As we were praying for the young woman --I could tell that God was really touching her heart that day.  It was so reassuring to know that God can still use us in our own brokenness to touch others with his love and mercy.  Like it says in 2 Cor. 1:3-5, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”

Walking in Peace

Life is so much more peaceful when we finally realize in the deepest part of our heart that God truly is sovereign. He is aware of our circumstances and nothing is going on in our life that God doesn't know about. Although there is no such thing as "pain free Christianity", God does promise to take whatever hardship we endure and use it for good purposes in our lives.  How awesome is it to know that we not only have a heavenly father that loves us profoundly --but our father also just happens to be the all-powerful king of the universe.