The Desire For A Covenant Relationship

    A few weeks ago I got into a good conversation with a guy about “Covenantal Relationships”.  This soldier was an Iraq veteran and a classmate of mine in the Army school I was attending.  He was an extremely nice guy although his identity was very much tied into “being a player”.  As we were talking that afternoon I was asked what I thought about marriage, now that I was divorced.  I told this soldier that I still very much believe in the marriage "covenant" and looked forward to someday getting remarried if it was in God’s will.  I was surprised at how adamantly opposed to the concept of marriage (or even monogamy) that this guy was.  It was then that I explained to him the Biblical concept of a covenantal relationship. 
   To illustrate this, I told him the story of Dave Roever.  Dave was a former Navy gunner’s mate in Viet Nam who was severely injured while on a patrol boat when an incendiary grenade went off in his hand.  The WP grenade blew off half of Dave’s face, his left ear and destroyed both of his hands.  He was burned so horrifically that when his buddies pulled him out of the water they all assumed he was dead.  Dave was eventually transported to a military hospital in the United States and upon arrival his new roommate was an injured soldier who had his lower legs blown off in Viet Nam.  His roomates wife came by to visit her husband later that week.  When the wife looked at her “damaged” husband she took off her wedding band and set it on his bed and left the hospital.  Watching this take place, Dave fell into deep depression.  He had only been married to his beautiful wife, Brenda, for less than a year when he was sent to Nam.  He thought how could she, or anybody, love someone so grotesque?  Although Dave was a Christian, he quickly lost all hope and desire to live.  Later the next day his young wife arrived at the hospital.  As she walked in and for the first time looked at her severely burned husband and his unrecognizable face—Dave cringed expecting rejection.  Instead, Brenda walked straight up to him kissed his forehead and said, “I want you to know that I love you.  Welcome home, Davey.” 
    Upon telling my classmate this story, his eyes teared up and he told me "that" would be a love that he would marry for.  He opened up with me and revealed that he had previously been married for 2 years.  He loved his ex-wife (at the time) and had always been faithful to her.  When he went off to war in Iraq however, unbeknownst to him, she found someone else while he was away.  When this soldier came back after his one year tour of combat, eager to see his wife, what he received instead was a divorce petition.  He told me that after that happened he made a vow to never trust a woman again.   He also went on to tell me that in the deepest part of his heart he wanted to experience a love like Brenda Roever has for her husband Dave.  Who wouldn't want a love like that?  I went on to tell this soldier that the reason that Dave’s wife Brenda was able to love him “unconditionally” like that was because she had first experienced that unconditional love herself through her relationship with Jesus Christ.  You see, you can’t give away something that you don’t already have.  I firmly believe that it’s impossible to love someone unconditionally unless you yourself have first experienced unconditional love.  Through offering up his own beloved son, Jesus, God entered into an irrevocable covenant with mankind.  A covenantal relationship stating that anyone that would believe in Jesus and receive him as their Lord and Savior would have eternal life.  But even more important is the fact that upon entering into that Covenant with God we become his beloved children. 
    We live in a world where it seems like everything is disposable, even people and relationships.  The current divorce rate among Christians is over 50%. The divorce rate with 2nd marriages is even higher. Are we really "happier" in our society now than in the 1950's when the divorce rate was almost nonexistent? I think everyone in the deepest part of their heart (myself included) desire that deep covenantal relationship like Dave and Brenda Roever share.  Who among us doesn’t desire a covenantal and unconditional relationship like the one illustrated in the movie "the notebook?" However, making a commitment to love your spouse; "for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part,” seems to be an almost impossible accomplishment in our modern society.  I just finished an awesome book by Craig Hill called, 'The Power of a Parents Blessing.' In this book, the author had quite a lot of insight when speaking about the proliferation of divorce (especially within Christian circles).  The author stated that "divorce presents marriage as a conditional contract based on works or performance. Thus divorce distorts the prophetic image of how Christ will treat us, his bride. Instead of being a grace based unconditional covenant, marriage is seen as a performance based, conditional contract in which the errant party can be thrown out and replaced with someone else who will perform more satisfactorily."  Marriage, to a Christian, should be a covenant relationship.  It is two people coming together in agreement to love each other unconditionally.  As a covenant, God gives very specific guidance on the circumstances where divorce is scripturally permissible.  Even when those circumstances exist where God allows divorce however, it still doesn't mean that he demands it.  
    I pray as I continue on my journey through experiencing that unconditional love from my father in heaven--God will continue to teach me how to love people like Jesus did.

1 John 4:16 "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

Romans 5:8

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."