Don't lose Hope.

I talked to a young woman the other day whose husband of 14 years had recently decided to leave her.  He had informed her that he had fallen in love with someone else.  She was feeling completely overwhelmed as she has two children who are also struggling with the feelings of rejection, abandonment and fear that come with separation or divorce.  All I could do was encourage her that God was not unaware of her circumstances.  I told her that God loved her and wanted to comfort her and her kids in this dark place.  I encouraged her that God held her safely in the palms of his hands. 

   Sometimes people just need to be reminded that God sees their hardship and cares for them.  I remember when I first realized that my previous marriage was not going to survive.  I was overcome with heartbreak, powerlessness and hopelessness.  My life was unravelling, and I had no control over my circumstances.  All I could do was hold on tightly to God through the hard times as I felt like He was my only hope.   As it turns out that was exactly what I needed.  It wasn't just an act of desperation, but it was the one thing I did that helped the most.  I am so thankful that I had faithful Christian friends (Bob, Mike, Steve, Nancy, Ward) that God brought alongside me to encourage me and pray for me when life seemed to be so bleak.  In my case, things turned out far different than I expected.  Although I never expected to be divorced after 25 years of marriage—those were my circumstances.  To compound that, the small business I had opened with my former spouse, wound up closing.  When Havilah’s Boutique closed down and eventually went bankrupt that set off an additional whirlwind of loss.  Much of what I didn’t lose in the divorce—I sold to pay down the staggering business debt that was all I had left of that business.   I had no retirement, no savings, no home and no plan--but I did have hope.  Although I felt like that caricature of the middle aged divorced guy living with his 75 year old mother, I had that small hope that God would still work this out for good in my life because he loves me.  The feeling of hope started small and started building the more that I poured out my heart to God.  The more I pursued God’s heart the more I would see his fingerprints on my life in so many profound ways.  Now, almost 2 years down the road, I have seen such restoration in my life.  I still sometimes sit in stunned amazement at all of the blessings that God has brought into my life.  All the things that I lost have been restored multiple times over.  I married a woman that is truly a gift from God.  I have two stepsons that I adore and it seems like in so many ways God is continuing to lavish me with his love and affection.  For those of you going through the pain of broken relationships right now—don’t lose hope.  If you seek God in the hard places he definitely has the ability to restore relationships that have been broken.  I have heard multiple stories from Christians whose marriages have been restored stronger than ever, even after situations where it seemed like those relationships were over.  I know people who have seen reconciliation with their kids, parents, spouse when they sought after God in the midst of hardship.  Even if your marriage can’t be saved however —God still has a plan for you.  Your heavenly father has this unique ability to bring good things out of even the most traumatic situation.  I'm a shining example of how God can take someones life where circumstances appear hopeless and still rewrite the script and add a happy ending.  I am so thankful that I am learning to be able to trust God's character regardless of how I feel or what I see.  I am also thankful that I have truly learned, in the deepest parts of my heart, that our heavenly father is faithful and he loves his children profoundly.   

Romans 5:5  "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Psalm 27:4-5 "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock."

Believing without seeing

At different points in my life I’ve been in situations where I encountered things that (at the time) felt completely overwhelming.  Looking back it seems like those situations helped me to begin to comprehend the faithfulness of God.  Many times in the past--people, looking at me from the outside, would assume I had everything together.   Although I legitimately loved God and trusted he would arise and help other people—subconsciously I always expected him to reject or abandon me in the hard times.  Crisis often shook me to the core because it revealed the doubt, pride, lack of faith and fear of rejection that was always there lurking beneath the surface.  When I would encounter hardship I used to panic and spend copious amounts of time in prayer.  I almost felt like if I prayed “hard enough” God might hear me and help.  I was living my spiritual life like a peasant begging for God's notice--unaware that I was one of his beloved children and already had his full attention.  Once my prayers were answered, I would relax again and feel peaceful.  That wasn't because of any legitimate trust in God however, but simply because my circumstances changed.  But is God only good when he gives us things?  Is he only faithful when he answers our prayers the way we want him to?  A few years ago that pattern changed. God was faithful enough to allow the circumstances to come about so that he could address the fear, pain, brokenness and pride that was buried deep in my heart.   At the time God definitely didn’t seem to answer my prayers and my circumstances were unbearable.  In that dark place, however, is where he spoke to my heart and I finally began to understand his profound love for me.  It took losing everything (or so I thought) for me to finally understand in the deepest places-- my heavenly fathers enormous love for me.  You see, once you can praise and trust God even when things are falling apart--then you can be certain you have a firm faith.  Otherwise, your hope is always at the mercy of your circumstances.  A.W. Tozer once said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.”

John 20:29 - "Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”