An analogy I would use to illustrate the trauma of losing your spouse--would be to sustain a severe battlefield injury. Being a Soldier I have had the opportunity to speak to veterans that have been severely injured in combat. The trauma of divorce to me is like losing your right arm (to the shoulder) in combat. After losing a limb, I have been told, that often you can still feel your fingers tingling even though your arm is gone. That phenomenon is called "phantom limb pain" and it's medically documented. Also people that lose limbs in combat, for quite awhile, forget that the limb is even gone. It takes awhile before they stop subconsciously attempting to reach out and pick up something with the arm that is no longer there.
With divorce (or any loss of a spouse or a child) you may experience similar symptoms. You might wake up in the morning forgetting that your life has changed. Whereas you previously had someone to talk to when you got home from work--you now come home to overwhelming silence. Whereas you previously had someone to sit beside at church--you now find yourself sitting alone. You even find yourself attending Bible studies, movies or even going to restaurants by yourself. Something as simple as shopping for groceries can even be painful. While navigating the aisles near the floral display--that’s when it might hit you that you no longer have anyone to buy flowers for.
Regardless of what loss you are experiencing now, remember that although at times you might feel lonely--you are never alone because you have a heavenly father that loves you profoundly. Most importantly, God wants to meet you in that place of loneliness and longing. Below are a few verses that had been encouraging to me as I walked through the trauma of divorce.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Psalm 68:5-7, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”
Romans 8:35-39 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
