"Before He formed us in the womb, He knew us."

   

  
    In the winter of 1964 a young unmarried 18 year old girl found out she was pregnant.  Originally from the hills of Kentucky, this young girl came from a hard working but impoverished family on the east side of Indianapolis.  Her family life wasn't ideal and she had already given birth to her first child at barely 17 years old.  The man she had been sleeping with this time was a 44 year old married man who happened to be the landlord who owned the home where the girl lived with her parents, four siblings and her 1 year old son.  He had started pursuing her shortly after she had her first child.  Needless to say, being pregnant again was not good news.  The birth father was a prominent Jewish businessman in the area.  In addition to being her families’ landlord and owning multiple properties in her neighborhood, he also owned a used car lot where the girl’s dad would work whenever her dad was in between jobs.  Both of her parents struggled with alcoholism and it affected his ability to hold a job.  Her dad's ability to work at the car lot on occasion was critical to their families survival.  

    Now, this was in an era where child support laws were just about nonexistent and DNA testing to prove paternity hadn’t even been developed yet.  The girl didn’t want her parents to find out about this pregnancy and she was even more concerned about what her father would do if he found out who the baby's father was.  Fearful and not knowing where to turn, the young girl approached her landlord (The birth father) informing him that she was pregnant and letting him know that he was the only person she was sleeping with.  He immediately scheduled her for an appointment with a doctor he knew and paid all the fees up front.  The appointment was after “normal hours” and she was initially told that she was there for a simple checkup/physical and a pregnancy test.  This took place a full 8 years before Roe vs. Wade was decided.  Although abortion was not legal at that time, and not talked about, it still took place.  Most people in that era viewed abortion as unethical; however, it still happened due to the huge social stigma attached to having a child out of wedlock.  In her case, the social and financial repercussions of having a second child were almost overwhelming.     

    She was dropped off at the doctor’s office that evening by her landlord.  While at the office she had a long talk with the doctor.  During her conversation with the doctor, despite the fear and uncertainty she felt, she made the choice to walk out of the office and not have the “procedure”. She felt a strong tug on her heart to carry the child within her to full term despite knowing the implications of that decision.  I completely believe that God guided her decision that evening.  She went back home late that evening and concealed her pregnancy from her parents for the entire term by wearing loose clothing.  The child was eventually born in her bedroom in May of 1965.  Even after she delivered the 8lb 11 oz. baby boy-- she refused to tell her parents who the father was because of fear of the negative implications that revelation could have led to.  Her delivery was quick and the child was born within a few hours.  He was named “Kevin” by his birth mother.  Upon seeing the blood soaked sheets on her bed and hearing the crying of the unexpected arrival --her parent’s immediately called for an ambulance.  The girl and her new baby boy were taken to the local hospital.  At the hospital, the baby was quickly whisked away to be checked out and he then given up for adoption by the family. 

    “Kevin” was in the foster system for the first four months of his life.  His adoptive parents got custody of him from Marion County Child Welfare through their foster to adopt program.  His adoptive mother had previously had two miscarriages and she and her husband had unsuccessfully been trying to have a child for years.  The couple had previously applied to become adoptive parents and when they were notified that a four month old baby boy was available for adoption, she was overjoyed as she desperately wanted a child.  They got custody of the baby boy and they immediately named their new son “Brian”.  His adoption was eventually finalized at 18 months old.  Two years later; they adopted their second child--a little girl they named Andrea.   

    The baby boy in this story is me.  I was adopted into a home with a Christian mother and I knew I was adopted for as long as I can remember.  It was never a secret with my family.  Although growing up I dealt with some of the feelings of rejection that are common among adopted children, I never wondered whether my mom loved me.  She was always so joyful as a mom (and now a grandmother), and it showed.  She poured her life into motherhood.  My mom, Mary Anne Wignall, always raised me knowing that God had a purpose for my life and that he brought me into her family.  My maternal grandparents, Bob and Evelyn Logan, loved me as well and also instilled in me the truth that God loved me and had a plan for my life.  I grew up knowing from a young age that God’s hand was on my life and always believed he was their for me whenever I called.  Through different hardships growing up, (including my parents divorce and later my grandfather's passing), I always knew God was there for me and that he cared for me. 

    At age 38, I got to meet my birth mother for the first time.  Ever since I was a teenager I wanted to meet her some day and thank her for making the hard decision to not have me aborted.  I also wanted to share with her about my personal relationship with Jesus and about all the times that God had made himself known to me over the years.  I was able to share those things with her, and she shared with me that I had an older brother, Tony.  I always wanted a big brother growing up and I was excited to find out that I had one.  My half-brother Tony and I are still in contact and have become very good friends.  It’s surprising how similarly we process things.  He has also been on a journey of learning to follow Jesus and has also seen God’s fingerprint on his life in some pretty profound ways.

   
    At age 47,  I got to meet my biological father and paternal half-brother.  Although I met with him on three occasions and he contacted me by phone once, the relationship with my biological father hasn’t continued at his request.  Interestingly enough, my paternal uncle and paternal nephew had previously been customers at my retail store, Soundsational.  I had met both of them years earlier, although at that time none of us were aware of the biological relationship. 

    My life has taken some odd twists and turns, but I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to live, grow up and go on to have my own family.  I love being a father to 5 children, and I look forward to being a Grandfather in the future.  I’m so glad that my birth mother didn’t have the abortion that evening and went through the difficult decisions both to give birth to me and then to give me up to a family better prepared to raise me.  Most importantly though I'm thankful that I serve a heavenly father that loves us profoundly and has made his presence known to me since I was a small child. 

Psalm 139:16-19   "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."