Valentine's Day post 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my Facebook friends. I must admit that this is my most un-favorite holiday. This was one celebration that I always used to hate as a kid. I remember the anxiety as an elementary school kid worrying about whether I would receive any valentines from classmates. It was almost like the stress of being one of the last kids picked for the dodge ball team during gym class. In Junior High that feeling of dread was even worse as the school I attended sold carnations that you could have delivered to your "special valentine". I remember more than a few times being one of the guys in class that was "carnation-less" while other classmates walked around the school carrying large bouquets sent by their many ardent admirers. I always hated that feeling of being forgotten on Valentine’s Day. I hadn't felt that feeling for many years up until last Valentine’s Day. That was the first holiday after the finalization of my divorce and I again felt that pang of "alone-ness" that day. When I initially received my final divorce decree I was feeling pretty alone and rejected. After 25 years of marriage I never expected or desired to be single again. At that point, out of necessity, I had moved in with my mother, and that Valentine’s Day I was feeling every bit of a failure. My plans that evening were to simply hang out at my mom's house and watch TV. That afternoon however, I got an invitation from a family friend to join her for a dinner party at her house. She had invited a few of her friends from church over for a Valentines dinner and asked me to join them. It's amazing how much it impacted me that day just knowing that I wasn't forgotten about and somebody actually remembered me. One of the things that hit me as I was writing this post was the fact that not only does our heavenly father never forget us--but also the thought that he sent us all the ultimate valentine when Jesus was born. God sent his son so that we can have a heartfelt relationship with him. God knows you and your circumstances and it's his biggest heart’s desire for you to really understand his tremendous love for you. Whether you have experienced the death of a spouse or loved one, the death of a marriage (divorce) or are simply feeling alone--God wants to meet you in that wounded place and bring you comfort. When I was at the lowest point in my life--I called out for God's comfort and he met me in that place. He overwhelmed me with his love and affection. He showed me in so many ways that he was with me and that he cared. If you’re going through hard times right now and have stumbled across this post--it was not by accident. God wants you to know that he loves you deeply and desires to hear from you. He sees you when you are disheartened and his heart is heavy when you cry. God is aware of your circumstances and will work everything out for your best when you turn to him. Although things might seem dark and hopeless at present--your heavenly father desires to bring joy back into your life. When we turn to him he can "bring beauty from ashes" and redeem even the most painful trauma in our lives. Just remember that our heavenly father is someone who never forgets us on Valentine’s Day.

  1 John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters."

 1 Peter 5:7 "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

 John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

 Isaiah 61 "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Trusting in God's Faithfulness.

Even hardship and grief can be turned into joy by our heavenly father who loves us profoundly. I'm so glad that my provision and my destiny does not solely rest in my own hands --because I am being safely held in Gods loving arms.

Experiencing Hardship

Hardship and adversity give us a great opportunity to see Gods hand at work in our lives.  Most of the time however we strive for comfort with everything in us.  When hardship hits my first response always used to be to pray that God would deliver me from the trauma (regardless of what is was). It is in that place of complete helplessness and dependence however that I learned to experience God in a deeper way than I ever had before.  The next time you encounter intense adversity try a different method of praying.  Instead of praying for God to rescue you from your hardship--pray that he both uses the situation to mold you into the person he wants you to be, as well as uses it to make himself known to you in a deeper and more intimate way.

Walking in Peace

Life is so much more peaceful when we finally realize in the deepest part of our heart that God truly is sovereign. He is aware of our circumstances and nothing is going on in our life that God doesn't know about. Although there is no such thing as "pain free Christianity", God does promise to take whatever hardship we endure and use it for good purposes in our lives.  How awesome is it to know that we not only have a heavenly father that loves us profoundly --but our father also just happens to be the all-powerful king of the universe.

New Years Eve Facebook Post

Happy New Year's to all my Facebook friends. When I look back over all the transition I've gone through over the past year I'm so grateful for where I'm currently at. Last year on New Year's Eve it was hard for me to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Everything around me seemed dark and cold. when I tried to project myself into the future all I could see was more loss and pain. God was faithful to meet me in that place however. He showed himself so faithful to me and let me know in so many ways that he "saw me" and that he held me securely in his loving arms.  Now, a year later--as I look at where I'm at currently I'm so grateful. God has brought old friends back into my life and some wonderful new ones as well. He has started the restoration process in my life. I have a new home and I'm so excited about all the new adventures that God has for me in the future. I'm so glad that I serve a God that has compassion on his children when they're hurting and always hears their prayers. I'm also thankful that I go to a wonderful church with an awesome pastoral staff. Lastly I'm thankful for my family and that God has blessed me with an amazing mother, sister and some absolutely wonderful kids--all of whom I'm very proud of and love dearly. 

 

 

Psalms 23:4 "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

The story of Private Donut

 
    I remember my first assignment as a drill sergeant in 1989, where I was assigned a class of new recruits at Ft Jackson, SC.  As was tradition, my trainees would soon receive nicknames based on their behavior or character traits.  Private "Donut", a short, pale and slightly chunky young man, received his name by returning for seconds in the breakfast chow line.  Although a polite young man, Private Donut allowed self-doubt to interfere with his ability to complete physically strenuous tasks.   While running, Private Donut was the first to fall out of formation.  While doing pushups, Private Donut was always the first to quit.  Although it was readily obvious this kid wasn’t the most gifted athlete in the class, it was just as obvious he was capable of accomplishing more than he was.   The first few days of basic training, I personally made sure that Private Donut was not allowed to quit when things got hard.  I pushed him extremely hard from the start.  Whenever he would try to quit, I would be on scene to make sure he didn’t.  When he would attempt to walk during a platoon run, I was right there to remind him how miserable life would become if he refused to get back into formation.  His fear of me far outweighed his natural desire to quit.  By the end of the first week I am quite sure Private Donut viewed me as his worst enemy.

    Each training cycle I would challenge all my trainees to a pushup contest. I was young and in very good shape back then and was doing over 95 "correct" pushups in the Army physical fitness test.  The first week of basic training I laid out a challenge for all my trainees.  If any of them could outperform me in pushups by the 6th week of basic training, I would personally treat them to lunch at the Burger King on post.  Now Army food in those days was barely palatable—so by comparison, Burger King was fine dining.  When the sixth week arrived, with it came the challenge.  One by one trainees would attempt to defeat their instructor hoping to be treated like royalty at Burger King.  Army Reservist PFC Moran, a college soccer player, was the first to accept the challenge.  PFC Moran was able to achieve 67 correct military pushups.   The next volunteer was a short, muscular kid from Georgia named Private Grambling.  Grambling heaved his way to 57 pushups.  After Grambling, I asked for the next volunteer and up popped Private Donut.  When this chubby kid raised his hand the other trainees began to laugh.  I asked Donut, amidst the laughter, if he was sure he wanted to accept my challenge?  As he nodded his head in affirmation, Private Donut dropped down into pushup position.  When I told him to begin, he started doing pushups.  By the time he had performed his 10th pushup, the laughter stopped.  By the time he reached his 20th, members of the platoon started rooting him on.  By the time Donut reached his 30^th, I also started cheering. To the disbelief of everyone, Private Donut wound up completing 62 pushups that day.  Unbeknownst to me and the rest of the platoon, each night after lights out, Private Donut had been sneaking into the latrine to work on his pushups hoping to show up his drill sergeant. 

    That day marked a turning point in the life of Private Donut and set an example for the rest of my platoon.  For the last few weeks of training If I noticed trainees not living up to their full potential, I would tell them, “If you were half as motivated as Private donut you wouldn’t be struggling so much”.  Following the platoon’s graduation ceremony I was approached by Private Donut who wanted to introduce me to his parents.  He grinned from ear to ear as I informed his parents that their son was one of the most motivated young men I had ever met and how over the course of 8 weeks he had developed into an outstanding soldier that I would be honored to serve with.  Private Donut became a very good soldier and went on to serve honorably in desert storm. 

    How many of us live our lives like that?  Allowing our own insecurities to limit us in what astounding accomplishments we are capable of achieving through our relationship with Christ.  We believe the lie that we are not valuable or worthy of anything great.  The reality however, is that we are princes and princesses in God’s kingdom.  We are joint heirs with Christ!  Are you currently living a life of royalty?  Are you aware of how much God really loves you?  Are you allowing insecurities or fear to prevent you from dreaming big?  A good friend of mine once posed the question, “What would you do if you had all the courage in the world?  If finances were not a hindrance, and you knew you were destined to succeed –what would you do?  How would you live your life differently?” Of all people, Christ followers should dream big. As Christians we should view ourselves through the eyes of God and refuse to see anything different. How many times in the Bible did God use “small people” to accomplish big things?  With God's help, a young teenager named David defeated a giant warrior, a stammering fugitive named Moses was used to deliver the Jewish people from the captivity of Egypt, and a young judge named Gideon defeated an army of more than a hundred thousand with only 300 men.  You must understand that the God we serve is a limit breaker.  Let your mind be open to receiving new ideas and challenges while simultaneously viewing yourself as a child of the almighty creator.  Give yourself permission to dream big.  And in so doing, allow your influence to burst forth and impact those around you. If Private Donut can do it, so can you!      

 

Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

 

Romans 8:17 “Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” 

 

Romans 12:2  “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

The Walking Dead.

  One of the most popular shows on TV right now is the "walking dead".  For those of you who haven't seen it--it’s a show about people living in a post-apocalyptic world filled with cannibalistic zombies.  The zombies walk around looking a lot like the living however there is one important difference--they are dead inside.  No feelings, emotions, passion--just a stagnant parody of life.    

   So often we go through life almost like the walking dead, stumbling through the motions of life with the "appearance" of being alive--when in reality we are emotionally dead inside.  In fact, many Christians go through life like the "frozen chosen"--going to church out of obligation without ever realizing that God wants us to live from our hearts.  When I first became a Christian as a 16 year old kid, my relationship with God was exciting and fresh.  I was so zealous to share with my friends all the new things I was learning and experiencing as a "Christ follower".  However, like many of us, that freshness began to fade.  We experience the hardships of life and we slowly begin to shut our heart down.  Because of that, our relationship with God becomes more of an intellectual pursuit than a heartfelt relationship.  We start to learn more "about" God instead of spending time getting to actually know God.  Well the problem with that is that God speaks primarily to our "hearts", not our intellect. Trying to hear God's voice with our heads is almost like trying to smell flowers with our ears.  We expend a lot of effort with minimal results. Well, I went on like this for years.  My relationship with God became a lot more about following certain rules or believing certain doctrine then enjoying a heartfelt relationship with my heavenly father.  When I began to feel distant from God, I began to work harder, thinking I needed to gain God's favor.  I got heavily involved in church activities, in Bible studies, etc.--but I felt that God was distant, cold and ambivalent.  It got very tiring working so hard trying to "earn" God's affection--never realizing that what I was working so hard to attain was something I already possessed.   I lived like that for years until life circumstances caused me to cry out in desperation to the one that loved me the most.  Those of you that know me are aware that almost 2 years ago--I hit the wall hard.  I lost everything I had been depending on for my identity and worth.  My family was fractured and I saw my 25 year marriage disintegrate before my eyes.  I was left numb, broken and powerless to do anything about what was happening around me.  The loss of the family business we worked so hard to start (Havilah's Boutique) was compounded by the enormous financial loss that resulted from that stores closing and its subsequent bankruptcy.  I saw my family home (of 17 years) sold with all equity going to the bank.  Most of my possessions were sold and I was left feeling alone and abandoned.  Instead of being bitter about my hardship however-- I cried out to God in my pain and brokenness.  It was then my loving my heavenly father faithfully met me in my pain.  Amazingly, the God that I met was quite different than whom I expected.  I discovered a creator who loves me like a good father loves his beloved son.  I found out that being a Christian was never about learning a bunch of "thou shalt not's".  I also discovered that being a Christian is also not about simply holding on through the pains of life until you die and go to heaven.  God's desire for you is not simply to survive--but God wants your heart to be alive and joyful as well.  Jesus didn't pay the ultimate price for our sins simply so that God would tolerate you.  God loves you so much that he sent Jesus willingly so that you can experience a relationship with your heavenly father that would transform your life.  How would it change your perception if you allowed the reality of that to permeate into the depths of your heart?  God loves YOU!  He knows you by name.  He sees you and earnestly desires a deeper relationship with you than simply Sunday morning church attendance.  He loves you despite your brokenness and wants you to experience the relationship with him that Jesus sacrifice made possible.  God wants to walk with you through this adventure called life and wants you to be able to experience the peace of knowing that He loves you and will never leave you.  Your heavenly father wants you to feel the joy of knowing him so that you can be "truly" alive instead of simply stumbling through life like the walking dead.

 John 10:10,  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

Psalm 27:13,  "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."

1 John 3:1,  "See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him."