Seeing people through the eyes of Jesus

I look back a few years ago at how easy it was for me to judge others in their hardship.  I had been a “Christ follower” since I was age 16—and in my strength I felt pretty good about my relationship with God.  I didn’t struggle with addictions and I lived a relatively righteous life (at least by my own standards).  Although I had the “appearance” of righteousness if you would have looked a little closer you would have noticed that my empathy for others was severely lacking.  I judged people so much by their appearance back then.  I remember as an immature High School student (and a new believer) chastising one of my Christian friends for “being worldly” when he got his left ear pierced.  Culturally in the 1980’s, guys having their ears pierced was not very common.  A decade later I got the opportunity to apologize to that friend for my judgment against him years earlier.  Interestingly enough, by that time I was the one with the pierced ears (Lol).  Years ago when I was extremely successful in business I would look around at men that were going through financial trauma and it was so easy to subconciously judge them in their hardship.  That was until the failure of one of my retail stores in 1999, left me 250k in debt.  I also remember in the past finding out a close friend of mine was getting divorced—and at that time it was easy for me to question his situation.  Maybe if they worked harder at making their marriage work, they could have avoided that trauma?  I judged their situation instead of trying to have compassion on the pain and loss they must be feeling.  Things have changed a lot with my perspective on divorce as well, after I saw the disintegration of my own marriage.  It’s taken my own personal failures, brokenness and hardship to help me truly begin to fathom God’s heart towards the hurting and weak.   Isn’t it interesting that during the years of Jesus public ministry one of the things that differentiated him from the other religious leaders and teachers of his era was his deep compassion for the hurting.  He showed compassion to the prostitutes and tax collectors instead of judging them.  He didn’t need to tell them that their lives were a mess—they already knew that.  He didn’t need to tell them they were living a debased/immoral lifestyle—they were also well aware of that fact.  He showed them compassion and it changed their lives.  A former prostitute (Mary Magdalene) became a leader in the early Christian community.  A former tax collector (who in that society had the social standing of a crack cocaine dealer) became one of his disciples and closest friends.  Jesus surrounded himself with the broken, abused, uneducated and people that society had little use for.  Jesus didn’t judge or castigate them—he loved them into righteousness.  His followers didn’t “look the part” of the religious establishment.  They were a rag tag bunch of social outcasts that wound up changing the society around them because of how they were first changed by Jesus.  The people that Jesus was harsh towards were the religious people, that had the appearance of having everything together, yet had no compassion towards the broken all around them.  These were the people that Jesus called “white washed tombs" and "vipers.” Recently one of the pastors at my church, Barry, gave a sermon where he talked about hanging out regularly at a local bar for the purpose of befriending people.  He was the “undercover pastor” listening to people share their hearts at the bar while he just sat there and drank his diet coke.  Barry would sit in the background non judgmentally listening to people and waiting for opportunities to help.  That is how I feel Jesus would be spending his time if he were physically walking the streets of Indianapolis.   You would find Jesus sitting on a street corner hanging out with the homeless man --nobody else realizing that this homeless man was a former military veteran suffering from PTSD.  You would find Jesus having dinner with the member of a local motorcycle gang.  Jesus would look past the man’s hard appearance and see the scared, abandoned little boy that lives beneath the heavily tattooed exterior.  Jesus would be praying with the young anorexic girl that cuts herself to mask the pain of her sexual abuse as a child.  He would be visiting the drug addict at the local jail, NOT as a ministry project, but because he was sincerely concerned for that man and his 3 small children.  That was what differentiated Jesus from the religious leaders around him—and that compassion is what should differentiate his followers as well.  Not simply how they look or dress, what their political beliefs are, how much scripture they can quote or how large of a Bible that they carry.  Like the scriptures say, “it’s the kindness of God that leads to repentance.”           

 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” – 1 John 4:12

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” - Augustine

God Is Always Faithful To Us -- Even In The Hard Times.

A lot of intensity today (4 Feb 2013). While at Church Sunday a friend of mine asked to pray for me dealing with my divorce. She said when she saw me at church that morning I seemed to have “sad eyes”? Initially I didn’t really know how to respond? I mean I feel like I’m doing pretty good, everything considered. I haven’t really felt a lot of the pain of this as I have really focused on my relationship with God during this hardship and have seen God’s faithfulness throughout this ordeal. That was until this afternoon. I received a copy of the final divorce decree from my attorney today and quickly felt overwhelming sadness. Like the feelings you have when someone dearly loved has just died. I guess that’s not unexpected from what I have been hearing in my "divorce care class"—but I still wasn’t ready for it. I mean 25 years is a long time to be married. It’s over half of my life so far. When I got married (probably like most people) I never expected to ever get divorced. I saw the trauma of divorce first hand when my parents split up and I never expected to experience that trauma ever again. I have so much compassion for people going through this as it’s extremely wounding. Not to mention the feelings of rejection, trauma to the kids, the financial distress, loss of your family home, all of these things are overwhelming. But it’s nice to know that in the midst of all the pain we are not alone. We have a Savior who was described in Isaiah 53 as "a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.". Jesus is there to help shoulder the burdens for those of us who are hurting. I have been surprised by all the private messages I have received as I have been posting about my personal journey on my facebook page. A lot of my facebook friends are going through similar hardships (and many of you are going through stuff that is MUCH more traumatic). For those who are enduring hardships with no end in sight--a couple of Bible verses that have comforted me are below:

“Cast all your anxieties on him (Jesus), because he cares for you.” ( 1 Peter 5:7) 

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart,

for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 5:2) 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – (Matt 11:28)

The Beauty of Creation and The Atheist

I was speaking with a friend last week about an experience that I had years ago in the Army.  Although I eventually became an Army Airborne Infantryman—I initially enlisted as a Chaplain’s Assistant.   I assumed, when I first enlisted, that a “Chaplain’s Assistant” would be a similar job to being a pastor (which was the career path I wanted to pursue.)  In reality however, the job was more like being a church secretary that happened to carry a weapon. ;)  During my training as a Chaplain Assistant I met a guy named Thomas Booker.  Tom was an avowed atheist—which was very interesting being that the training we were going through was to become a Chaplain’s Assistant?  Tom was a few years older than I—probably late twenty’s and he was definitely an intellectual.  His passion was bird watching and he had initially gone to college to be an ornithologist.  During our 8 weeks of training I had multiple conversations with Tom on the reality of God’s existence and how God loves us.  As a young 19 year old however, I was somewhat intellectually outclassed by my atheist classmate.  When we would get together I would quote him from Josh McDowell, C.S. Lewis and other Christian academics.  He in turn would quote to me from Richard Dawkins writings and others who agreed with his paradigm.  It never went anywhere.  We were both simply two guys talking “at” each other using intellectual information that backed up our presuppositions.  Tom would talk to me about how science disproved God’s existence years ago and how we (mankind) were all simply “accidents” who evolved by chance.  At that time in my life I tried to reach Tom, intellectually, about the reality of God.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that although having an intellectual foundation for my faith is important—God speaks to our “hearts” much more than he speaks to our minds.  One afternoon after graduation from our Army training and before we both shipped out, Tom asked me if I wanted to go out and look at some of the local birds and share a bottle of wine with him.  I have never been much for drinking and I normally would have said no to that request.  However, before I could decline the invitation, I strongly felt God softly speak to my heart and prompt me to join Tom for wine.  We wound up walking to some woods close to our barracks and sitting against a large tree and sharing some cheap wine while Tom educated me on some of the local birds we were seeing.  It was then, after hanging out for an hour or so in the woods that a vividly colored bird landed on the branch of a tree near us.  Tom saw my interest and started telling me everything about that beautiful bird.  What it ate, where it normally lived, how I could tell it was a male, etc, etc.  It was after listening to the passion he had speaking about this bird that I asked him a simple question.  "Tom, look at the beauty of that bird.  It’s perfectly designed wings that allow it to fly, the gorgeous coloration that is more beautiful than anything an artist could ever hope to create.  Do you really believe that something this beautiful could have just happened by chance?"  It was then that I noticed tears in the eyes of this “atheist” as he turned to me and simply smiled and said “you got me”.  We wound up finishing off that cheap bottle of wine and walking back to our barracks.  We didn’t talk on the way back as we simply were both taking in the beauty of God’s surroundings.  I never heard back from Tom again as we both shipped out to separate parts of the country the next morning.  I like to believe that he eventually asked Jesus into his heart and got to experience a personal relationship with the God that created all those beautiful birds that Tom loved so much.   

Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands”

 Romans 1:20 “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

Walking in forgiveness

While attending a “Divorce care” class led by my friend Bill Soot’s last week, a question was asked that intrigued me. The subject of the class that week was forgiveness. In the video we were watching—the question asked was “what if I’m not mean or hateful to my ex-husband/wife, but I simply just ignore them? Is that wrong?” The answer given was “not if that’s how you would like God to respond to you.” Of course nobody wants God to ignore THEM. We might mistakenly “feel” like God is ignoring us—but in reality he NEVER does. This is an especially important thing to consider for those of us who have been wounded by the pain and rejection of divorce. The concept of how to respond to those who have hurt us brings up an interesting point. Although there do have to be boundaries, how does the Bible say that God wants us to respond? In Ephesians 4:32 it says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Another verse that came to my mind is Matthew 5:21 where it says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” My favorite verse pertaining to this subject is probably Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Sometimes it’s really hard to live in peace with people, especially when we have been hurt. Holding grudges or unforgiveness is not an option for those of us who claim to be Christ followers. Now this doesn’t mean that we have to make ourselves readily accessible to those people who have hurt us in the past. It does however mean that we need to be kind in all situations and treat others like we would like to be treated (regardless of how difficult they are to deal with). This applies whether we are dealing with a rude boss (or employee), an estranged family member or even while dealing with your spouse while in a divorce proceeding in court. One of the many things that defined Jesus public ministry was his revolutionary teaching of loving our enemies and being kind to those who hate us. While we just finished celebrating Jesus’s death and resurrection this past Easter weekend—It is important not to forget that "forgiveness" was one of the central focuses of his teachings. Jesus walked out those teachings while he hung on that cross surrounded by both the leering, mocking crowds that had called for his death as well as the soldiers that nailed him to that cross of wood. Despite those facts, Jesus still said “Father, forgive them for they don’t understand what they’ve done”. If our heart is to follow Jesus, we need to walk out forgiveness in our lives as well.

Matthew 5:43, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM

    I was reading some scripture today about “fear” and had realized one big thing that has changed with my way of reacting to hardship. The scripture I was reading was in I John 4:18-19, where it says; “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

 I have posted previously about walking through some pretty severe financial trauma 13 plus years ago when one of my businesses failed. With that failure two things happened: First, I found myself on the verge of bankruptcy and unemployment and was facing the loss of everything that I owned. Conversely though, I had the opportunity to see God's provision for me on multiple occasions. In those hard times where I couldn't financially support myself or my family—I saw God’s daily provision. Through being in a place of complete dependence, I had the opportunity to see God’s hand at work is some pretty significant ways. I shared one story of God’s miraculous provision in receiving a Christmas present (a bike) for my then 10 year old son, Izzy. What I didn't mention however, was the fact that although there had been multiple times during that period where God provided for me and my family in miraculous ways, I still would go into a panic every time I faced the prospect of suffering.

   Something as simple as the threat from a creditor or a bounced check could quickly send my “peace” flying out the window. Although I consistently saw God’s faithfulness, I was always waiting for the day when He would abandoned me. I miss interpreted hardship as either a sign of God’s lack of concern for me, or as the punishment levied by a rigid, demanding parent. Over that time of approximately 8 years, God worked hard to disprove my presuppositions. He provided for me daily which allowed us to stay in our large home (even though I still don’t know how we avoided foreclosure?) He provided a car for me, allowed my young children to continue to attend their private Christian school for a few more years. I even went back to college during that time and finished up my Bachelor’s degree (as my G.I.Bill benefits allowed me to make money while in college). Although I saw all these cool ways God was showing me His involvement and concern for me. Yet, I still had to be dragged through that process of “learning to depend on God”, while kicking and screaming all of the way! One difference I see now with my reactions is that the fear I always used to feel is pretty much gone. Although my circumstances at present are pretty similar to what they were 13 years ago (with some additional family trauma thrown in), I am experiencing more peace than I ever did before. 

   Somewhere along this process of walking all this stuff out, something had gotten “rewired” in my heart. Over the last 16 months I feel like I’m finally beginning to have peace in the midst of the storms of life. I think the biggest difference is that I finally am beginning to understand God’s heart towards me. As it said in the scripture I had been reading today; “The one who fears is not made perfect in love”. As we begin to fathom the depth of our heavenly Father’s love for us—fear starts to fade into the distance. Also, as we allow God to show us His provision in the midst of suffering, (instead of trying to avoid hardship) we start to learn to trust in God.

   In 1 Samuel there is a story that I absolutely love. In this story there was a “giant” Philistine warrior named Goliath that had challenged anyone from the Armies of Israel to face him alone in a battle to the death. By written account, this “giant” was a guy that struck fear in the hearts of the soldiers of Israel. Imagine a steroid abusing (WWE) professional wrestler only MUCH bigger with lots of armor and some intimidating weaponry --and this is what I assume that Goliath looked like. The Israelite's were terrified both of this guy and the armies of the Philistines that he came from. No one in Israel wanted to face this giant, until one day a young teenager named David heard the giant’s taunts and was indignant. You see, David wasn't even a soldier (in fact he was a simple shepherd), yet he had seen God’s faithfulness in the past and he had no fear of this giant warrior. David had seen God protect him from both a lion and a bear while tending his flocks, and knew God was with him. It wasn't that he was oblivious to how intimidating Goliath was. David was simply aware of how much BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL God was. David went to the king of Israel volunteering to face this enemy of his people. He told his bemused king, “Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you." (1 Sam 17:36-37) David, full of faith, went on to slay Goliath. When the on looking Philistine Army saw David behead Goliath they ran away in fear. I love that story! Just like David, when we look for God’s hand in our past hardships--it’s easier to trust Him with our current sufferings. Just a few weeks ago, one of my facebook friends (Mike Day) went in for surgery to remove a fairly large brain tumor. Mike was facing a pretty severe surgery with a lot of substantial risks involved. It would be natural to be afraid of all of the possible ramifications that his doctors were preparing him for. In the weeks prior to the surgery, Mike had been having seizures and had lost almost all use of his left arm. It was amazing however, that when I went in to pray with him before his surgery, he had a sincere peace about the surgery. He was so peaceful that I almost asked HIM to pray for ME that day. I’m sure that Mike’s peace was also birthed through seeing God faithfully walk him through multiple hardships in the past. I’m so thankful at this point in my life that God has allowed me to learn to trust him in the hard times instead of allowing me to escape from suffering. I’m also grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers and cares for us as his dearly beloved children.

Psalm 28:6-7 “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

Broken People for His Purposes

 Over the last few years I have been really encouraged as I've seen substantial growth in my walk with Jesus. Even though I have gone through some pretty tremendous trauma I have been excited about the fruit that it has borne in my life and was beginning to feel like in some sense I had almost “arrived” spiritually (whatever that means?) That was until this weekend. It became very clear to me that I have yet another “glaring” blind spot in my walk with Jesus that I never noticed or chose to acknowledge. It’s always easy to feel good about ourselves when our measuring stick of “righteousness” is either ourselves in the past or others around us. Lately I had been contrasting where I am at currently with where I was at just a few years ago—and was feeling pretty contented. But along came this weekend. 

   While on a long road trip this past Saturday, God showed me my “righteousness” compared to His son’ and it became readily apparent to me that although I had started to feel like I was well down the path on my journey toward being “Christ-like”-- in reality I had barely left the starting line. Initially I felt overwhelming sadness and self-condemnation at how far I am from being who I desire to be (and whom I desire to follow). Here I am again—brutally made aware of my own weakness and lack. I’m a middle aged man that had wasted so many years unaware of how shut down I was. Here I am, again seeing more issues in my own heart that I had previously refused to look at. While pondering these revelations, I was reminded of a certain Passover (Pesach) tradition. Coming from a Jewish ancestry this holiday was always special for me as a teenager. This was also obviously an important holiday for Jesus as well, as He was celebrating Passover with his friends (the disciples) the night before his crucifixion. In fact, the “Last Supper” was actually a Passover “Seder” where we celebrate the release of the Hebrew nation from their captivity in Egypt. In the same way that the Hebrews ate unleavened bread (Matza) in their haste to leave Egypt—so modern observant Jewish families avoid leaven (yeast) during the Passover holiday. There is a certain part of Passover preparation called the “Bedikat Chametz” that came to my mind. After disposing of all leavened bread, rolls, buns, etc. in the household—the Bedikat Chametz is the ceremonial practice of searching for and disposing of any hidden “leaven” (yeast) that might still be remaining in the house. Speaking of this Passover tradition, In 1 Corinthians 5:6-8 it says, “Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”

   I almost wondered if my sudden “revelation of my brokenness and sin was kind of like God’s “Bedikat Chametz” of my heart. I feel that God brought those things up because they are places deep down that He wanted to address so that I can walk in complete freedom. They are also areas in my life that Christ died to forgive. God simply gave me a clear picture of the things that Christ had already borne for me on the cross. On that drive home this past Saturday when my own brokenness and selfishness became clear to me, I almost wondered if God could ever use my life in any capacity? But God revels in using broken things (and broken people) for His purposes. Although really discouraging at the time, I am now grateful that God revealed to me more areas in my life that could potentially interfere with my ability to hear His voice in my life clearly. I am also happy that He helped me acknowledge the things that I was shown. I am now praying that God will continue to expose all those remaining hidden things in my life as well as those wounded areas of my heart that still need to be addressed. But I also asked Him to be gentle about it.

Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

My son 'Izzy' & I. 

By Izzy Israel Wignall
   My son recently just wrote this status on his facebook and I had to share this. I agree with him 100 percent and I think that the art of confronting issues is often a lost art. 

"Passive-aggressive behavior: I feel like so many peeps my age struggle with it (I know I used to heavily and it's something I am growing in as a leader).

What is passive-aggressive behavior? It's essentially a fear of conflict. You act nice with people even though you have a problem with them. You tease someone because, instead of settling a dispute with them, you want to let your frustration out through tearing them down. You stir up gossip instead of talking to the person. You quit things because you don't want to own up to your mistakes and settle conflict with leadership.

I'm speaking here as a leader of many different people (Worship Director at a church, R.A. at Greenville College, Studio Manager for the Audio Department, Worship Leader of a Chapel Band). I can tell you that passive-aggressive behavior ruins relationships and can break-apart groups of people. I think because my generation is very anti-social because of technology and Facebook/the internet/media and entertainment dominating our lives, being passive-aggressive is more natural than people in previous generations. Just like deleting someone on Facebook is easy, not dealing with conflict and deleting "people" in real life is easy.

Just because we have different struggles because of our culture isn't an excuse, to be passive-aggressive. If you have a problem with someone, kindly let them know--don't "tease" them or jokingly make fun of them as a way of letting your frustration out. If someone wants to settle a disagreement with you, do it and don't chicken-out. And don't start drama and spread gossip instead of confronting the issue at hand. These behaviors never solve anything and do nothing but hurt you as an individual. As a leader, I'm so annoyed by things like this.

So, if you want to be a leader, or hold a stable job for a long period of time (instead of quitting because you're frustrated and you didn't voice your frustrations with your boss), or get married and have a healthy, servant-like relationship with your spouse, then really tackle and kill passive-aggressive behavior now."

#mythoughtstoday" - Izzy Israel Wignall