Walking in forgiveness

While attending a “Divorce care” class led by my friend Bill Soot’s last week, a question was asked that intrigued me. The subject of the class that week was forgiveness. In the video we were watching—the question asked was “what if I’m not mean or hateful to my ex-husband/wife, but I simply just ignore them? Is that wrong?” The answer given was “not if that’s how you would like God to respond to you.” Of course nobody wants God to ignore THEM. We might mistakenly “feel” like God is ignoring us—but in reality he NEVER does. This is an especially important thing to consider for those of us who have been wounded by the pain and rejection of divorce. The concept of how to respond to those who have hurt us brings up an interesting point. Although there do have to be boundaries, how does the Bible say that God wants us to respond? In Ephesians 4:32 it says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Another verse that came to my mind is Matthew 5:21 where it says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” My favorite verse pertaining to this subject is probably Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Sometimes it’s really hard to live in peace with people, especially when we have been hurt. Holding grudges or unforgiveness is not an option for those of us who claim to be Christ followers. Now this doesn’t mean that we have to make ourselves readily accessible to those people who have hurt us in the past. It does however mean that we need to be kind in all situations and treat others like we would like to be treated (regardless of how difficult they are to deal with). This applies whether we are dealing with a rude boss (or employee), an estranged family member or even while dealing with your spouse while in a divorce proceeding in court. One of the many things that defined Jesus public ministry was his revolutionary teaching of loving our enemies and being kind to those who hate us. While we just finished celebrating Jesus’s death and resurrection this past Easter weekend—It is important not to forget that "forgiveness" was one of the central focuses of his teachings. Jesus walked out those teachings while he hung on that cross surrounded by both the leering, mocking crowds that had called for his death as well as the soldiers that nailed him to that cross of wood. Despite those facts, Jesus still said “Father, forgive them for they don’t understand what they’ve done”. If our heart is to follow Jesus, we need to walk out forgiveness in our lives as well.

Matthew 5:43, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”