A Reminder From My Heavenly Father

      I am so glad that I have the assurance that I have a heavenly Father that is always looking out for my best in life. I look back over the last 16 months and I have seen multiple occasions where God has made His presence known a midst some really tough circumstances. One that comes to mind happened shortly after I and my ex-wife separated last year. I received an unexpected Facebook message from Bob and Nancy Curry. I hadn’t seen or spoken to the Curry’s in almost 30 years and I honestly forgot they were Facebook friends. I had met and gotten to know Bob and Nancy when I was a 16 year old sophomore at Carmel high School. Bob and his wife were the youth pastors of a new church plant at the time called “Northview Christian Life” church. I was a relatively un-churched teenager going to their youth group.

 My life changed pretty dramatically after attending that youth group for 6 months. I was asked by Bob and Nancy to see a “Christian” musician that was performing at Market Square Arena in downtown Indianapolis. The musicians name was Keith Green. Keith was a Christian musician who played piano and sang—and honestly the thought (at that time) of going to a “Christian” concert appealed to me about as much as having red-hot spikes driven into my eye sockets. I went there expecting to see some “old guy” playing piano and singing “onward Christian soldier” or some other type of church music. Instead, what I saw was a young, radical guy that looked more like a hippie than a church guy. Keith had long curly hair with a full beard and he exhibited so much passion for serving and worshiping Christ that it almost emanated from him on stage. The first thing I noticed at the concert was that Bob, Nancy and I didn’t have to pay for entry. At every other concert I had previously attended (Foreigner, Billy Squire, AC/DC, etc.) you had to buy a ticket—while this concert was free. I then thought to myself as I looked at all the merchandise being sold (i.e. Tee shirts, Record Albums, etc.) that the angle/gimmick had to be that this Keith Green guy held free concerts but them made his money selling record albums. By the way, for those of my younger readers, a “record album” was a REALLY big CD. Well, while at the concert the Holy Spirit was speaking heavily to my heart. I found out that like myself—Keith Green also came from a Jewish background. About half way through the concert I found myself starting to soften to the message of Jesus that Keith (and first Bob) had been talking about. It was then that Keith did something that completely stunned me. He stopped playing and said, “If anyone wants a record album, raise your hand.” He went on to say that he wasn’t there to sell stuff but to share the good news of Jesus and he was passing out albums for whatever you could afford (even free). I started to silently weep in my seat (trying hard to NOT let my girlfriend at the time see this obvious weakness on my part). When Keith went on to ask if anyone wanted to ask Jesus into their heart to be their Lord and Savior—I almost leaped out of my seat. On the drive home that night, Bob spoke to me about my experience and encouraged me in pursuing that new relationship with my Savior. 30 years later, while going through some pretty traumatic stuff, I’m once again contacted by my youth pastor, Bob. Although I hadn’t directly revealed the turmoil that was going on in my life—it was apparent to Bob and Nancy that something was wrong and they decided to reach out to me. Although I attend an AWESOME church, at that time I had so much free time on my hands that I was really starting to feel alone and isolated. I was feeling like my whole life was falling apart. Bob and I started talking at that time and he and his wife invited me over that next Sunday afternoon for a family Bible study at their home in Fishers. I went to the Bible study that next Sunday and reconnected with this couple that had been so influential to me as a teenager. While at the Curry’s house, Nancy went to put on some contemporary music and accidentally loaded the “wrong” CD. What started playing was a Keith Green song “Oh Lord You’re beautiful”. The thought hit me as I sat in their living room that afternoon, that here I was with my old youth pastors listening again to Keith Green together just like when I accepted Jesus into my heart back in 1982. I almost felt like I went back in time to when I was a 16 year old new believer in Christ. And I felt, almost like God was speaking to me in that moment and saying, “I never forgot you or left you. I’m here for you, Brian.” And I started weeping as again I felt the overwhelming presence of my Savior speaking softly to my broken heart.

Psalm 68:6   “God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”

GOD DOES LOVE US!

    You know sometimes its hard to believe that God really has good things in store for us. For years I had no problem believing that He wanted to bless others abundantly--but when it came to God's heart for me I somehow thought a different standard applied. Why should God bless me? Why wouldn't He look at my life and consider me a disappointment (I did)?  Why wouldn't He reject me as I knew He saw the brokenness in my life. I knew God could clearly see what dwelt beneath the mask of 'having it all together' that I worked so hard to project. But God does love us, not in spite of our frailty and brokenness but because of it. God loves to bless those who cry out to Him In their loneliness and brokenness. He loves to heal our hearts and transform us into the people He created us to be. He wants to draw us closer to Him and give us the deepest desires of our hearts (but first wake our hearts up so we can fully experience the relationship with Him that we were created to.

 Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future."

WHERE MY HEART IS [NOW]

    While I was getting ready for work a few weeks ago, I started thinking about where my heart is now. I feel like over the last year, God has awakened my previously cold/hard heart and I am experiencing a level of intimacy with God that I had never before experienced.
 For the first time in my adult life I feel like my heart is in a very good place. I’m not shut down any longer and I’m very glad where I’m at with my relationship with God. I started thinking to myself as I got ready for work that morning, “If by dating someone or eventually getting remarried it would in any way dilute what God is doing in my heart right now—would it be worth it?” My conclusion was; “No!” I told God that morning as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror that I would be willing to stay single for the rest of my life if that’s what it took to keep my relationship with Him strong. 
For me to say that (AND believe it) was HUGE! I was always the guy in High School that had to be in a relationship to feel good about myself. When I was single, I would always feel alone and lonely. I would feel like a: “less than.” It was only while in a relationship that I would see myself as complete. I always remember (as a teenager) fearing I would be single and lonely the rest of my life. I got married very young and always found myself mistakenly looking to my spouse for fulfillment much more than I ever looked to God.
 Over the last year though, I have seen my heart change dramatically. And now here I found myself offering that place in my heart that cries out for intimacy to God. I almost felt like Abraham must have felt when he voluntarily offered his precious son, Isaac, not fully certain of the outcome. Abraham was certain however of God’s faithfulness. In my bathroom that morning—while pondering what I was saying, I was also certain that I could trust God and I also knew in the deepest part of my heart that God loves me. This was pretty revolutionary thinking for me. Regardless of what happens in the future, my heart’s intention is to never lose track of my 'First Love’.

Psalm 13:5 " But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation."

HEARING JESUS' HEARTBEAT IN OUR LIVES

     I am currently attending a class at the church I attend, that deals with how God wants to walk in intimacy with his children. While at the class a few weeks ago the speaker that evening (Elaine) focused on a portion of a verse from the book of John that I have never noticed before. In John 13:21 it says; “There was reclining on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. So Simon Peter gestured to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom He is speaking.” He (John), leaning back thus on Jesus’ bosom, said to Him, “Lord, who is it?”

The background for this passage takes place during the last supper (a Jewish Passover Seder in Jerusalem) where Jesus is spending his last hours before his crucifixion. When Elaine (the speaker for the class) read this verse-- it impacted me to think John the disciple was SO physically close to Jesus at the time, he could probably have heard Jesus’ heart beat. I then had an overwhelming desire filling my entire being to experience that kind of relationship with my Savior. It pierced me so deeply that I stayed after class that evening to receive prayer from Elaine and her husband.

The immense desire in my heart currently is to be intimately close in my walk with Jesus that I can (figuratively) hear and feel what’s on His heart. Jesus came so we can experience a relationship with God that is much more intimate than simply attending a church service on Sunday. Jesus demonstrated that same intimacy with His Father in heaven and it was demonstrated in the life he lived. Jesus said in John 5:19, “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed.” Jesus is so close to God’s heart, that He was (and continues to be) able to see what God was doing all around him.

My big struggle had always been the fact that I am not the apostle John, and I’m definitely not the Messiah. I often use to struggle with how I could pursue God’s heart and experience this intimacy with God despite all my brokenness? In 1 Samuel, it refers to King David as a “man after God’s own heart.” Although David was a pretty broken guy with a lot more issues in his life than many of us will ever experience (i.e. he was an adulterer and a liar who after getting someone else’s wife pregnant, had her husband killed). Despite David’s pretty major character flaws and moral defects--he is still referred to as a man after God’s heart. That is because of how David zealously pursued God’s heart. David acknowledged his own complete brokenness and need, then pursued “knowing” God with all his energy and strength. And David, that broken, flawed guy, was still described by his Creator as a “Man after My heart.”

My biggest prayer is that I will be able to pursue God’s heart with all my energy and strength. And that I will get to develop such intimacy with Jesus that I can hear His heart beat in my own life.

PERFECT GOD GIVES PERFECT GIFTS

God is good! I had to share a story that happened to me recently. I had gone to Nordstrom Rack to look for a pair of cheap blue jeans. For those of you unfamiliar with Nordstrom’s Rack—it is the liquidation store for Nordstrom’s (which is a store that sells really nice clothing). I had a very limited budget for jeans and I was hoping that they had something within my limited price range. While at the store I noticed a really sharp looking black suit, which was my exact size, on the clearance rack. Although it was $500.00, (definitely WAY over my current financial limitations) I still tried it on to see how it looked. The suit looked awesome! I felt like a GQ model wearing this thing. While admiring this suit in a mirror; I noticed a red tag on the sleeve that read 80% off. "Wow!" I thought, I could get this thing for $100.00 plus $35.00 tailoring. I've never owned a really nice suit before. At my business I normally dress extremely casual. I went ahead and decided to get the suit. I had the pants measured and pinned up for tailoring and took the ticket to the front counter to pay my anticipated $135 plus bill. When I got to the counter the lady scanned the tag and said, “Oh no, this isn't right?” I knew it, 80% off had to be a 'miss-mark'? Has to be too good to be true? She then went on to say that there was an extra 10% discount on this suit (90% off). Additionally she told me that my $35.00 tailoring was "free" since I had a Nordstrom card. How cool!! This $500.00 suit custom tailored and I spent $49.00 for it. I just picked it back up from tailoring the other day. Don’t know exactly when I’ll wear this it but when I do I know I’ll be looking sharp in my $49.00 Nordstrom suit. God is good and I firmly believe that He even cares about the small insignificant things in our lives like the joy I felt being able to get a new suit for $49.00 

Matthew 7:7-11

"Keep on asking and it will be given you;  keep on seeking and you will find; ^[c]keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.

⁸ For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened.

⁹ Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone?

¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent?

¹¹ If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"

OUR IDENTITY

        

Recently, I was able to finally sell my supercharged Z06 corvette. 

Didn't make any money--but I was able to pay off that loan which was awesome. I still have a lot of residual debt from Havilah's Boutique (a business I owned) to pay off. Yet, it feels good that I have started paying down on this massive debt and lowering my overhead. It's kinda weird though that when I was a married guy I drove around in a "torch red" sports car. Now that I'm a single guy; I'm driving an older Civic. It is red though so, so I guess that's a plus?  

I was thinking it was kinda interesting how important that car was to me a few years ago. My identity was almost tied into having that bright red supercharged sports car. Now its not bad to own a cool sports car (considering the fact that my business specializes in modifying and tricking out nice cars). What is out of balance though is when our identity is connected to material possessions  If you find yourself "needing" to get that expensive watch, exotic sports car, name brand clothing, etc, you might be looking to the wrong source for your identity. Our lives are fleeting and it's important to "invest" our lives in things that are eternal, like walking in intimacy with our God AND serving those people around us. Investing in walking with God and serving people leaves a lasting legacy. Nobody will remember that cool car that you owned or that huge house either. what they will remember is that person that helped them or prayed with them when they were in need. I recently read a post by actor Tyler Perry about how someone helped him out years ago when he was homeless and living on the streets. That person 'helped' out of a desire to please God and never expected anything in return. Years later (as a successful actor and producer) Tyler Perry found that person and was able to both thank them for the part they played in helping him years earlier as well as he was able to turn around and help them now at a time when they were in need. That is the way that God designed us to operate. 

The next time you notice when the waitress that is serving you or the cashier at a store you patronize, happens to look downcast; ask them if you can help. It's amazing how disarming it is when a stranger notices their pain and asks if you would like them to pray for you. My pastor (Randy) makes that a regular practice and its amazing how many people respond. The next time you see a neighbor that had their water shut off because they couldn't pay the bill--pay it if you're able. You could permanently impact someones life by something simple like a gift when someone is in need. For those of us that consider ourselves "Christ followers" that is how scripture states we will be known: by our love for one another. Trust me, its much more rewarding than a cool red sports car. 

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - (John 13:35)

WE ARE ACCEPTED

I always used to feel like I had to perform to be accepted in Church. I had to work really hard and "look" really spiritual to feel that I  was worthy to be in God's Presence. I would look at people like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa and feel completely worthless. Comparing myself to these spiritual "Giants" I always felt like the  'Biggest Looser'!  I worked really hard while growing up to garner God's "favor". I went to church every Wednesday night for Bible Study as well as Sunday mornings. I even pushed myself to get involved with volunteering at a local orphanage trying so hard to get God's attention. How many people live there lives like that? Working hard to attempt to earn God's favor without ever realizing that they've had it all along? You see we are not orphan's vying for the attention of a perspective caretaker. We are beloved children adored by their loving father. That's the message that Jesus taught. The message that God loves us and REALLY wants to spend time with us. He knows all our fault's and flaws. He knows the hidden places in our heart but still loves us. No matter what we've done in the past--God wants to clean us up and invite us to be part of his family. No judgement--just His desire that we experience the relationship with Him that we were created to enjoy and that we start to walk out who we were created to be. 

Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 8:38, 39  "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."