PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM

    I was reading some scripture today about “fear” and had realized one big thing that has changed with my way of reacting to hardship. The scripture I was reading was in I John 4:18-19, where it says; “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.”

 I have posted previously about walking through some pretty severe financial trauma 13 plus years ago when one of my businesses failed. With that failure two things happened: First, I found myself on the verge of bankruptcy and unemployment and was facing the loss of everything that I owned. Conversely though, I had the opportunity to see God's provision for me on multiple occasions. In those hard times where I couldn't financially support myself or my family—I saw God’s daily provision. Through being in a place of complete dependence, I had the opportunity to see God’s hand at work is some pretty significant ways. I shared one story of God’s miraculous provision in receiving a Christmas present (a bike) for my then 10 year old son, Izzy. What I didn't mention however, was the fact that although there had been multiple times during that period where God provided for me and my family in miraculous ways, I still would go into a panic every time I faced the prospect of suffering.

   Something as simple as the threat from a creditor or a bounced check could quickly send my “peace” flying out the window. Although I consistently saw God’s faithfulness, I was always waiting for the day when He would abandoned me. I miss interpreted hardship as either a sign of God’s lack of concern for me, or as the punishment levied by a rigid, demanding parent. Over that time of approximately 8 years, God worked hard to disprove my presuppositions. He provided for me daily which allowed us to stay in our large home (even though I still don’t know how we avoided foreclosure?) He provided a car for me, allowed my young children to continue to attend their private Christian school for a few more years. I even went back to college during that time and finished up my Bachelor’s degree (as my G.I.Bill benefits allowed me to make money while in college). Although I saw all these cool ways God was showing me His involvement and concern for me. Yet, I still had to be dragged through that process of “learning to depend on God”, while kicking and screaming all of the way! One difference I see now with my reactions is that the fear I always used to feel is pretty much gone. Although my circumstances at present are pretty similar to what they were 13 years ago (with some additional family trauma thrown in), I am experiencing more peace than I ever did before. 

   Somewhere along this process of walking all this stuff out, something had gotten “rewired” in my heart. Over the last 16 months I feel like I’m finally beginning to have peace in the midst of the storms of life. I think the biggest difference is that I finally am beginning to understand God’s heart towards me. As it said in the scripture I had been reading today; “The one who fears is not made perfect in love”. As we begin to fathom the depth of our heavenly Father’s love for us—fear starts to fade into the distance. Also, as we allow God to show us His provision in the midst of suffering, (instead of trying to avoid hardship) we start to learn to trust in God.

   In 1 Samuel there is a story that I absolutely love. In this story there was a “giant” Philistine warrior named Goliath that had challenged anyone from the Armies of Israel to face him alone in a battle to the death. By written account, this “giant” was a guy that struck fear in the hearts of the soldiers of Israel. Imagine a steroid abusing (WWE) professional wrestler only MUCH bigger with lots of armor and some intimidating weaponry --and this is what I assume that Goliath looked like. The Israelite's were terrified both of this guy and the armies of the Philistines that he came from. No one in Israel wanted to face this giant, until one day a young teenager named David heard the giant’s taunts and was indignant. You see, David wasn't even a soldier (in fact he was a simple shepherd), yet he had seen God’s faithfulness in the past and he had no fear of this giant warrior. David had seen God protect him from both a lion and a bear while tending his flocks, and knew God was with him. It wasn't that he was oblivious to how intimidating Goliath was. David was simply aware of how much BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL God was. David went to the king of Israel volunteering to face this enemy of his people. He told his bemused king, “Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you." (1 Sam 17:36-37) David, full of faith, went on to slay Goliath. When the on looking Philistine Army saw David behead Goliath they ran away in fear. I love that story! Just like David, when we look for God’s hand in our past hardships--it’s easier to trust Him with our current sufferings. Just a few weeks ago, one of my facebook friends (Mike Day) went in for surgery to remove a fairly large brain tumor. Mike was facing a pretty severe surgery with a lot of substantial risks involved. It would be natural to be afraid of all of the possible ramifications that his doctors were preparing him for. In the weeks prior to the surgery, Mike had been having seizures and had lost almost all use of his left arm. It was amazing however, that when I went in to pray with him before his surgery, he had a sincere peace about the surgery. He was so peaceful that I almost asked HIM to pray for ME that day. I’m sure that Mike’s peace was also birthed through seeing God faithfully walk him through multiple hardships in the past. I’m so thankful at this point in my life that God has allowed me to learn to trust him in the hard times instead of allowing me to escape from suffering. I’m also grateful that I serve a God that hears our prayers and cares for us as his dearly beloved children.

Psalm 28:6-7 “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”