A lot of intensity today (4 Feb 2013). While at Church Sunday a friend of mine asked to pray for me dealing with my divorce. She said when she saw me at church that morning I seemed to have “sad eyes”? Initially I didn’t really know how to respond? I mean I feel like I’m doing pretty good, everything considered. I haven’t really felt a lot of the pain of this as I have really focused on my relationship with God during this hardship and have seen God’s faithfulness throughout this ordeal. That was until this afternoon. I received a copy of the final divorce decree from my attorney today and quickly felt overwhelming sadness. Like the feelings you have when someone dearly loved has just died. I guess that’s not unexpected from what I have been hearing in my "divorce care class"—but I still wasn’t ready for it. I mean 25 years is a long time to be married. It’s over half of my life so far. When I got married (probably like most people) I never expected to ever get divorced. I saw the trauma of divorce first hand when my parents split up and I never expected to experience that trauma ever again. I have so much compassion for people going through this as it’s extremely wounding. Not to mention the feelings of rejection, trauma to the kids, the financial distress, loss of your family home, all of these things are overwhelming. But it’s nice to know that in the midst of all the pain we are not alone. We have a Savior who was described in Isaiah 53 as "a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.". Jesus is there to help shoulder the burdens for those of us who are hurting. I have been surprised by all the private messages I have received as I have been posting about my personal journey on my facebook page. A lot of my facebook friends are going through similar hardships (and many of you are going through stuff that is MUCH more traumatic). For those who are enduring hardships with no end in sight--a couple of Bible verses that have comforted me are below:
“Cast all your anxieties on him (Jesus), because he cares for you.” ( 1 Peter 5:7)
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 5:2)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – (Matt 11:28)
Thank-you for sharing your life. I know can't be easy to just put it out there but, for us who are not gifted in writing . You have Blessed me in sharing. I am constantly reminded God always put's people in your lives for a reason and I appreciate your heart and sharing.
ReplyDeleteVictoria
Thanks Brian for sharing. I remember once when I was young and my father was counselling someone undergoing a divorce. He told them that he was so sorry. That you grieve as one does having a loved one pass away.
ReplyDeleteYet, here you are; one day at a time moving forward and sharing your heart to the world. Many hearts that are wounded, now see and understand yours. But, something more....something GREAT....YOU HAVE JESUS, You Abba Father--and we see His Strength in your living testimony!
I read this article and the other article about turning the other cheek and I was flooded with so many memories about how I behaved during my divorce and how gradually God changed my heart after many years after my divorce. As you know that even though you are divorced you still have the common connection the "children". I finally decided to get divorced because I was being abused for years, after so many years I told God that it had to be me or him but I could no longer take it. I was even thinking of taking my own life along with my childrens'. God spoke to me through a glorious dream, and I asked my husband to leave. Here I was with 6 children, no job, no college experience and he had just taken my van. Turning the cheek for me was difficult to say the least. But I prayed for him because he was an unbeliever and told him for the kids' sake I would only communicate by letter to him. Then all of his family members; those who called me daughter sent hateful letters. I had not only lost a husband, but a family; a family that did not believe me. All the insults left me with so much pain and heartbreak. But God lovingly showed me to turn the other cheek and how to love those who hurt and abuse me. To this day I still have an ex-husband in my life that does things to hurt me but I pray for him and turn the other cheek. He has changed thankfully, but I believe Satan uses him to get under my skin and see what I will do. I can tell you that I have developed my love walk. Not perfect by any means but I believe I have pasted the test(s). Amen. Thanks Brian for sharing your story it gives me time to do some introspection of my own.
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